Chapter Twenty-Seven
81
“Humans weren’t meant to carry someone else’s weight; we can barely lift our own. But yet, 81, here you are with the fucking world on your shoulders and brother I see that you’re drowning,” Ghost says to me as I enter the clubhouse. He grabs the beer, hands one to me and we both walk toward church.
“I’d carry all of the sins for her to walk in a light, brother, that isn’t stained with blood that my hands have shed.” I pull out my seat across from him. He is to Bray’s right, while I sit to Bray’s left. We have been brothers for a long time. They both know me better than I know myself. But Jade is something I wanna try and keep away from here as much as I can. She has me falling apart and it’s a weakness that I can’t have the club see. I have been nothing but brutal around them and it’s a persona, a social image, that I wear with a force like I wear my patch. With them I don’t have to feel.
I don’t have to be me.
Henry.
To them I am 81.
I can detach and rain havoc upon souls.
Shed blood and destroy. Feed on blood lust and bask in the screams from men who walked into my path. But with Jade, I don’t have to. I can just let go and know that what she sees she will keep safe. Locked away just for us. With her I evolve into more than a beast. I am a man with a beating heart and a god damn pulse.
The boys flow into the room, some with drinks others with the look of thunder on their faces.
I share a nod with most before the boss man himself walks in and sits down.
“Nice of you two dick bags to join us,” he bites out, lighting a smoke with a sharp inhale then leaning back in his chair. He blows it out in front of him as a club girl brings him in his tray with a cup, ice and a bottle of Southern Comfort.
“Still drinking whores piss I see,” I speak breaking the stare off he is having with Ghost.
“Still sleeping with Ghosts,” he shoots back at me.
“Ya both are as fucked as each other,” Ghost snaps as Bray pours a drink and I take a long pull of mine, wishing it were something stronger.
“Right, well we have shit to sort out. One: the shit storm that was a carload of women here that I knew nothing about. Two: we have a problem with you two just pissing off whenever ya want for however long you want. Three: the Ace of Spades need us for a gun deal and some trouble they seem to be having. Ghost and 81, go with Knox and Cage. Hawk will meet you fuckers there.”
He takes a swig of his drink, stubs his smoke out and lights another. The last few months have been rough on him. Raven fucked with his head. Her disappearing like that, then just rocking up and being so fucked up he can’t even get to her has prayed on his mind. She is his love and she’s so far gone. Then Ghost’s relapse and Hannah’s twin Jenna’s shit… fuck man, then we add more fuel to his already blazing fire.
“I got so much shit going on and I need you all here. Secrets will not be tolerated, neither will fucking off. Am I heard?” His tone is unholy light but packed a force that not even the devil would question. We all nod I pull myself down in the chair leaning back while exhaustion sweeps through me. I’m fucking torn to pieces inside and it’s fucking tiring. I don’t wanna go on the run, but I can’t question Bray. He’s my pres. This is my club. They will have to always come before anything else and that alone is fucking with my moral compass. I have already told my mind we will give it all up for Jade. I don’t want another repeat of Hannah and I fear club life may just spill my little bird over the edge to where reason clashes with evil and she slips.
Ghost kicks me under the table jolting me from my thoughts.
“You got it, 81? You understand?” Bray demands.
“Yup Pres., got it.” I eye Ghost with a what the fuck look.
“Well, that’s it then. You boys will ride out at first light and stay safe,” he says slamming down his gravel. He stands and the club whore enters as soon as the door is opened, picks up the tray and follows Bray like a good little puppy dog.
“Timberly is going to flip,” Ghost says running his hand through his hair.
“She knows this is club life, brother,” Knox speaks for the first time. “But still, I’m only just fucking slightly healed from all that crazy shit.”
“We will keep you on the road, brother,” Cage says, stepping from the room. “Definitely will,” Knox also says as he walks from the room. The rest of the boys follow, squeezing our shoulders as they pass.
“Bray could have really blown shit up over your club and them chicks, bro,” I say grabbing a smoke from his pack and lighting one.
“Thought you had given smoking up?” Ghost asks.
“Well, I gotta go tell a little bird that I gotta go on a run… while she has a crazed stalker watching her and all I wanna do is kill him.”
“Aahh, so you two are a thing now, aye?” Ghost wiggles his fucking eyebrows at me.
“Fuck knows. I think so. I fucking think I love the chick and it’s fucking with my head.”
