Heat crept up my neck
“Am I so readable?” I twisted my fingers in my lap.
“I see it in your eyes, you look at him in the same way he looked at Ari.”
I cleared my throat before my eyes met his and I did a quick change of subject.
“We’re going to commence rehab tomorrow, will you be staying?”
He stood and approached me, offering his hand. As he helped me to my feet, my foot slipped on the coffee cup and I looked down to see brown liquid running over the blue floor.
“You can't keep changing the subject when's it’s brought-up, Gracie-May. I like you and I can see you have gone above and beyond for my buddy here, but don’t try and fix something that you can't grip. He’s like sand, Gracie-May, you can never hold it. The tighter you squeeze in an attempt to hold on, the faster it slides through your fingers.”
Unsure of what he means, I remained still, my eyes watched as the liquid ran over the floor, branching off in different directions. Like life. Like a road with numerous forks in it.
“I need him.” I slapped my hand over my mouth, not meaning to say the words out loud.
“I need him to hold me as I need to hold him. There is something beautiful about him, something that pulls me into him. I feel like I have to have it, to be here to heal his hurt for it mirrors mine.”
“Let's take a walk.” Brad took my hand but I pulled back as fear gripped me. Leaving Kaden wasn't something I wanted to do.
“He’ll be okay, Gracie-May. You have some pretty stellar people in this joint. I'm blown away by the care and love which is shown here. Believe me, I've seen some shocking places where a little care would go a long way towards recovery.”
Stealing a glance back at my sleeping solider, I placed the notebook inside the pocket of my jeans and left with Brad. As we walked along the hospital corridors, for the first time in forever, I noticed the smell of stark disinfectant. How much more pleasant it would have been if we could have placed flowers.
CHAPTER NINE
Kaden
Two weeks have passed since I was flown home – transferred from the horror of war to the unnerving quiet of a hospital bed. My mind was struggling to accept the changes that were now taking place, I was continually sliding into hallucinatory states. I knew what happened in my mind wasn’t real and Brad tried hard to bring me back to reality. He constantly recalled things I’d wanted to forget, bury, turn away from. Sometimes I felt like I was suffocating beneath the horror and grief.
“Gracie-May is going to tear down your walls and blow apart your life. She will tame that beast within you. I see it in her eyes, the way she looks at you.” Brad peered over the top of the newspaper he was reading.
My mind had been busy snapping back and forth with memories and ideas. It seemed she’d been on my mind since I’d first heard her voice. I’d been broken and she’d been the one to pull me from the dark and Ari’s grip. I knew her grasp on me was no longer real, but I clung to the love I had for her when the going was tough.
“You know you're going to have to say more than two words to her sooner or later, she won’t give up and allow you to shrink back inside yourself.”
I glared at my friend. “No, I don’t. No-one will ever get under my skin again.”
Brad’s smirk is fucking me off and he shakes his head.
“You’re fooling yourself. I see the way you look at her, it’s the same way you looked at Ari and fuck, brother, don’t get me started on the way she looks at you. I've spent quite a bit of time talking with her while you refused to acknowledge either one of us, she has it bad for you, soldier boy.”
I scrunched up the paper which was placed on my lap, I wasn’t interested in reading it anyway and threw it at my mate hitting him square in the face.
“Denial! It won’t change anything.” He laughed. “You know I'm flying out today, aye?”
My eyes snapped to his as I tried to pull my body up the bed. The fucking casts were so heavy and restricted any movement. The handhold on a post hanging over the bed were fucking hopeless, my weight caused it to bend. I sensed Brad staring at me and when I glanced over, I saw he was trying hard to not laugh at the unco way my broken body tried to move.
“I vaguely remember you murmured something about you leaving the other day.”
“I’ll be back. I’m in charge of a training camp in Waiouru in two weeks’ time, so you have until then to sort ya shit out with the hot nurse and maybe ask if she has any mates.”
He winked at me and I reached behind me, with great effort I hefted the pillow at him as he stood to leave. He caught it and threw it back.
His hand found mine in a bro shake. “You hear me, ’kay? Take care of yourself.”
“I hear ya, brother.”
