“Christian, I’m pregnant,” I blurt, and swallow—freezing where I stand, looking at him. “I know it’s sudden and it’s…muchearlier than we thought. I mean, I’m pretty sure it was when I got my IUD removed and started the pill. I don’t think I gave it enough time to work.”
I inhale deeply, then exhale. I might be hyperventilating.
I shake my hands out at my sides and he’s frozen on the couch, leaning forward on his knees, face in his hands.
“Christian?” I say quietly. “Are you…angry?”
Slowly, he picks up his head. His eyes are red and puffy, cheeks just as brightly colored. “No,” he rasps, his voice breaking.He rubs his eyes with the heels of his hands and swallows. “No, Lana, I’m…”
“Baby…” I lower myself onto my knees in front of him and hold his face in my hands. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m…” Christian sniffles, a small smile cresting in his lips. “I’m so scared.”
I frown, tears clouding my vision. “Christian…”
“I’m happy,” he says. “I am, I swear. I’m so happy, Lana. I’ve always…I’ve always wanted this with you. The kids and the house… Now it’s so real and I just…”
“Hey,” I whisper, sweeping my thumbs beneath his eyes to clear the tears. “Hey, talk to me.”
“I don’t…” Christian inhales shakily. “I don’t want to be a bad dad, Lana. What if?—”
“No,” I cut him off. “No, we aren’t playing the ‘what-if?’ game.”
He nods, swallowing audibly. “I don’t want to be a bad dad and disappoint our kids.”
“Christian, you willneverdisappoint them. You’re going to be such a good dad,” I tell him. I stand to straddle his lap and push him to rest back on the sofa. I keep his face cradled in my hands and kiss his lips softly. “Is this… Do you want this?”
“Yes,” he answers quickly. “Do you?”
I nod. “With you, yes. All of it, with you.”
“Yeah?”
I nod. “I just… I always thought that when we found out I was pregnant I’d be…immediately happy.”
“You don’t have to be happy right away. You’re allowed to be conflicted, baby.”
“I am—was. Until now.”
“So we’re having a baby…” Christian sighs deeply. “Is that why you’ve been feeling sick?”
“It seems that way.”
Christian chuckles softly until it turns into a full, tearful laugh. His head tips back, the beautiful sound echoing off the walls of our home. I sigh quietly, a bit unsure of what to do with this reaction.
We’re stable people—for the most part. We’ll be fine.
We’ll be fine.
“Christian?”
His arms come around my waist and pull me down onto his lap, my legs straddling his thighs. “I don’t know what to do with all of this,” he says, grinning. I hold his handsome face in my hands and wipe his cheeks with my thumbs. “I didn’t know I could be this fucking happy.”
I smile. “Are you sure?”
Christian turns to kiss my palm. “I’m sure.”
“I guess…” I bit my lip. “I guess this means you have to buy me the hot mom car you once promised me.”
