“Do what?” I ask.
“Don’t do that to yourself, baby,” she rasps.
“I just don’t want it to have any power over me,” I confess quietly.
“Christian.”
“Yeah,” I rasp.
“When was the last time you drank?”
I swallow and plant my hands on her hips. “Last year.”
A year and seven months since I’ve come out of rehab. After I almost died.
Her lips flinch with something of a smile, both her hands back in my hair, and a spark of pride flashing in her eyes. “You have more power over it than you think, baby.”
“Keep doing that too.”
“What?”
“Calling me baby.” I frown. “I missed that.”
“Okay,” she breathes, “baby.”
“Lana…”I need you.
“Yes?” she breathes.
I exhale heavily through my nose.
“Ask for it,” she encourages me. “Tell me how you need me to love you, Christian.”
“I…” I choke on the emotion in my throat. “I just need to touch you.”
“Okay.” Lana does something I don’t expect in the moment—she climbs over my lap, her knees on either side of my body. Her eyes meet mine cautiously, silently wondering what move to make next.
Her eyes, a shade of soft brown, drop to my chest, but my eyes remain on her face. It isn’t until I feel her small, warm hand settle itself over my heart that I know what she’s doing. Then her eyes come back up to mine.
“What else?”
I swallow, blinking and feeling that thickness in my throat return. “I just need to be held right now.”
“Then I’ll hold you.” Her arms wrap around my middle instead of my neck, and she buries her face against my chest, molding her body with mine. “Is this okay?”
My arms wrap around her body, holding her close, and I breathe her in. “Yeah.” I sniff back the intense emotions brewing. “Yeah.”
“What else?”
“Just this for now, please.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“No, I— I’m okay. I talked to Terrance today,” I tell her. “It helped.”
“Good.”
I sit in silence with her body on my lap and her arms wrapped around me—healing whatever broken parts of me remain. Lana’s superpower is putting me back together, holding me together. Keeping me strong and making me feel loved and special—even if it’s only with a single touch, shedoes that, and I don’t think she knows how grounding her presence is for me.
