“I was afraid you were going to say that,” Bel said after an uncomfortably long silence.
“You didn’t need me to say it,” Briar said. “You already knew. You just didn’t want to be the one to admit it, but why is this bothering you? I’ve never heard you talk about kids.”
“Eamon told me about his stance on children at my birthday party, and the case I’m working involves a couple’s only daughter. Her death amplified his conviction.”
“Understandable,” Briar said. “But I didn’t think you wanted kids. You’ve never once mentioned starting a family, and no offence, baby sis, but you’re thirty-five. You’ve focused on your career, not that I can talk. I waited to get pregnant because Flynn and I chose our careers and house first, but we’ve been planning for the boys since he proposed. But you’re in your mid-thirties, and you’ve never mentioned babies to even me.”
“Because kids were never really on the table,” Bel said.
“Then why is this bothering you?”
“Because while they weren’t on the table, they were still on the kitchen counter. Not in front of me, but somewhere within reach if I change my mind.”
“And Eamon’s stance means the option is no longer even in the house.”
“Exactly.”
“Well, you called for my two cents, so here it is. You never talked about kids. I’ve known you for thirty-five years, Isobel Emerson, and do you remember what you talked about nonstop as a kid? Becoming a detective with a police dog. Oh, how you wanted a dog. Every Christmas, you wrote Santa a letter asking for one, and then when you figured out Dad was Santa, you begged him. Without Mom, Dad couldn’t handle a puppy and six daughters, so he never got you that pet. He did give you a stuffed German Shepard for your birthday, though, and you carried him everywhere with your plastic police badge. You loved thatstuffed dog, so it shocked me that it took you so long to adopt a dog as an adult.”
“First of all, Potts was a Mrs.,” Bel corrected.
“Oh, right. Sorry. Your stuffed German Shepherd was a girl. Although Potts can go either way. Why did you even name her that?”
“There was a cartoon I used to watch on Saturday mornings with Dad about a Detective Potts,” Bel explained.
“I don’t know why I asked. That should’ve been obvious, and it further goes to illustrate my point that you’ve always aspired to be a detective with a dog. That was your dream. That was your life goal. You liked books, and animals, and the police. You watched crime shows and pet videos, and you read. We were all busy playing with our baby dolls and planning our future weddings, and you marched around the house with Potts writing us tickets. You spent too much time with Dad.”
“I still have Potts,” Bel said, her eyes drifting to the well-loved animal perched on the bookshelf bearing her favorite novels. “She used to sit on my dresser, but I moved her to my new library. And I have the authority to write you real tickets now.”
“Plus your real dog, who I suspect is plastered to your chest,” Briar said, and Bel pulled the phone away from her ear and snapped a selfie to send her sister, proving her prediction right.
“The life you dreamed of is the life you have,” her sister continued. “You never mentioned kids, but you became the dog mom and detective. You sometimes talked about men. Not often, but when you did, you always referenced Mom and Dad’s relationship. You didn’t love dating, but I knew you secretly craved a deep soul connection.”
“If it was so secret, how did you know?”
“I raised you, remember? I used to know you better than anyone. Now I suspect that honor belongs to Eamon.”
“No, Cerberus,” Bel corrected.
“Obviously,” her sister laughed. “I meant out of us mere mortal humans.”
Bel stifled a laugh. Mortal human, her boyfriend was not.
“What I’m saying is that young Isobel Emerson would be so in love with the woman she grew into. Seems to me, you’ve got the life you wanted. If kids are that important to you, don’t let Eamon hold you back, but people talk about the future they want. You certainly did, and children never once made the Bel list.”
“I didn’t realize I’d never mentioned them.”
“You rarely mentioned relationships and marriage either, but you hinted enough for me to know you were open to love. That you’re calling about children is confusing, though, since it’s news to me.”
“I didn’t talk about romance often because I hated dating. It felt like a waste of time. I didn’t think love was in the cards for me, but then Eamon came along. I tried not to love him. I really did. He was a suspect in my first case in Bajka, so not exactly the man people would expect me to fall for, but he loves me like Dad loved Mom. There were no bad dates or emotional games. He just continued to show up for me until I realized how much I loved him.”
“So maybe you don’t need kids and are simply freaking out because your safety net is gone. You didn’t want kids, but you could change your mind. With Eamon, you can’t, and you’re afraid of losing the security blanket.”
“Yeah, maybe.”
“Think about it. Are you afraid of missing out on a family or of losing the option? They are vastly different fears, and one will end your relationship while the other is merely a growing pain. You just need to figure out what you want.”
“What I want. That’s always the hardest secret to uncover.”
