Truly, a great healer. It’s troubling that touching the mess that’s Nienad doesn’t disgust her, yet she flinches away from the brush of my fingers.
When she’s done, I take her hand firmly and pull her out of the room, slamming the door behind us.
“Let me go, you horrid, beastly…”
“Of course.”
I let her yank her hand out of my grip and Jaga turns away, her shoulders rigid. I study her frame, humming under my breath.
“Come on. What is it, love? Tell me or I’ll conclude you’re falling for me again.”
“Conclude what you want.” Her voice is tight, and she won’t grace me with a look.
“So frustrating,” I whisper, shaking my head. “I think I know what happened. You tortured me, you made me pay, and then we fought a common enemy together, and you no longer know what to think. You’re scared to trust me, but you don’t hate me anymore. We’re supposed to be allies, and it’s new and confusing, isn’t it?”
She shakes her head, her back ramrod straight. I keep my eyes firmly up, because she’s not wearing her coat, and the curve of her ass clad in tight leather draws my gaze.
“Trust me just a little, poppy girl,” I cajole her gently, pouring all of my polished charm into my voice. Woland can’t ever speak to her this way, but I can, and I’ll exploit it without shame. “We have to work together, after all. It will be miserable and unproductive to keep butting heads. I don’t ask for much. Just be my ally.”
Her shoulders drop, and she turns to me, her face schooled into a dispassionate mask.
“Nyja said allies don’t have to trust each other.”
“But we’re different. Do you want to see inside my mind? I’ll let you in. It’s a privilege. No one got to do that with me before.”
She is silent for a moment, then scoffs, avoiding my eyes. “Oh, I am sohonored.”
“Come on.” I step closer, sensing her hesitation. “You don’t want to be stuck in this strange place between trust and fear, either. We need to go one way or another. I’m not asking you tolove me. Let’s be on one side for once, with no secret agenda, no manipulation, no power plays. Just us.”
She clutches the pendant with my blood, frowning in concentration, and I realize she thinks the magic ran out, and I can lie again. When she looks up, it’s with a miffed, frustrated expression.
“Every time I trusted you before, I got hurt,” she growls, her words disjointed, like she has trouble getting them out. “I never want to hurt like that again.”
“I hurt every day when you choose other people over me, when you look at me with scorn, when you step away if I come closer.” I look steadily into her eyes, letting her see the truth in my gaze.
“That’s our thing. We hurt each other, and I don’t think it will stop. But what I’ve decided for myself is that it’s worth it. There is no one out there like you. I can either let you go or take you as you are, with barbs and knives, and be grateful.”
A small smile plays in the corner of her mouth before she twists it cynically. “And I suppose I should takeyou, thorns and all?”
“That would be perfect,” I admit with a smile.
Jaga shakes her head. “Oh, Woland.”
A shiver goes down my spine. I am Weles today—and most of the time, since I try my best to be good to her and control my urges. And yet, she knows it’s me. There is a thrill in that, and my heart swells.
I wish I could kiss her.
But Jaga isn’t done speaking, and what she says turns my blood into ice.
“You’ve had many lifetimes, thousands of lovers, relationships with mortal and immortal people. It is unfortunate that after all this time you’ve decided I am the one you want. Because you see, unlike you, I haven’t met many men—or women. I don’t think it’s a foregone conclusion that I must be yours, becauseI am fairly certain that someone better waits for me out there. Someone who won’t hurt me. Someone who will choose me above all else.”
I don’t know what to say. All I can do is watch her, incredulous and angry. Thousands of arguments crowd my tongue, fighting to be said, yet I remain silent, struggling with her cold, vehemently logical point of view. Jaga sighs with pity and curls her fingers around the pendant. My tongue tingles, her spell growing more potent.
“Can I trust you?” she asks softly, looking into my eyes. “If I let you in my mind, will you refrain from interfering in my thoughts and memories? Am I safe with you?”
“Yes.” The truth is forced out of me, her spell not only preventing lies but compelling me to answer with full honesty. Jaga nods, satisfied.
“Then, yes. I want to see what happens, and if I can’t be there, so be it.”
