He placed his drink on an empty chair and put his hands on Gideon’s shoulders, as if he were about to give him a pep talk.Shouldn’t this be the other way around?
“Thank you for getting Mom here. You are the glue of this family,” Noah said.
“Of course.”
“I know what I’m doing is unorthodox, to say the least. But that’s how I’m choosing to live my life. And it’s okay for you to do the same.” Noah had a look on his face that Gideon couldn’t read. “You don’t have to do everything she says.”
“I know.”
“I’m trying to impart this advice before it’s too late, brother.”
Noah tried to fix Gideon’s tie, but he smacked his older brother’s hand away.
“What are you getting at Noah?”
“Hannah is a really cool girl. She’s the type of girl Mom loves. Just like Beth was. But that doesn’t mean you need to date her.”
“I’m not dating her to make Mom happy. Hannah makes me happy.”
“Do you even know the difference?”
“What’s wrong with wanting to make your parents proud? Mom and Dad did a lot for us. Mom’s been through so much. So yes, I do want to make her happy.”
Noah made Gideon look at himself in the hallway mirror. “Fuck. She’s done a number on you.”
Gideon shook out of his brother’s grip. “I have no idea what the fuck you’re talking about. Speak English.”
“Do you remember when we used to play hide-and-seek when we were little kids? Do you know where I always found you hiding? Under my bed with mySports Illustrated. Funny thing was, you never tried reading the articles. You would just stare at the players.”
“How many gin and tonics have you been drinking today?” Gideon checked to make sure his mom or Hannah weren’t looking for him.
“I thought you would’ve figured it out in college,” Noah said. “Gideon, you don’t always have to be the responsible one. Hannah may be what they want, but I don’t think she’s whatyouwant. Since we’re both adults now, I don’t have many opportunities to give you sage advice. Hell, you’ve always been smarter than me. But this whole experience with Christina has made me appreciate going my own way. You need to do the same, brother. You should be with a person that makes you truly happy, despite what Mom or those dipshits at temple think.”
The deejay put on another classic dance tune that Gideon would’ve loved to dance to—with Hannah. It summoned them, but Noah wasn’t moving. Gideon’s love for his brother flipped to anger, in a Jekyll and Hyde swap. Years of pent-up rage exploded out of him. No net, no dam, no extra-strength lock could hold it in any longer.
“I don’t want to be like you, Noah! You don’t care about who you hurt when you find your own fucking path. You make a mess, and I pick up the pieces.”
“Nobody asked you to!”
“Nobody ever does! That’s not how family works. You live in your own world and do whatever the fuck you want. Your life does not exist in a vacuum. Your actions have consequences.
“Do you know how hard this has been on Mom, what you’ve put her through? For years!” Gideon gained added respect for his parents. Their oldest son wasn’t just a troublemaker. He was a completely self-absorbed troublemaker. “I can only imagine the stress you caused Dad for all those years.”
Noah’s eyes sparked with anger. Something finally got a rise out of him. “Dad loved it. He laughed when I would goof off. He told Mom I would straighten myself out, just like he did. Mom was the one who freaked out. We all had to fall in line. Heaven forbid people gossip about us. You were young still. She could still get to you.” Gideon wanted to hear more about his father, another glimpse that he was too young to remember. “I’m sorry, Gideon. I should’ve been there before she could get to you. But I’m trying now.”
Gideon glanced at his red face in the mirror. He could’ve blended into the over-the-top floral arrangements.
“I’m trying to help you. You don’t want that life. I care about you.”
“You don’t know anything.”
“You’re gay, Gideon!”
Gideon stormed out of the banquet hall. To his right, the bridal party was lining up to be introduced by the deejay, another thing his mom was going to hate. He ran left, down an empty hall. He burst through the double doors and cold December air hit his face.
“Gideon, wait!”
Gideon stepped into the snow. The air cooled his head. Noah followed seconds later.
