Matty clicked his door shut.
The loneliness immediately hit Coop like a four-car pileup. He dropped to his knees, pulled a pillow off his bed, and screamed until it hurt to breathe.
Chapter 30
Matty
Matty wokeup to no arms around him.
Good.
Good riddance to Coop, he thought. He couldn’t get out of his mind how much he and Kelvin had messed with him. It was worse than what any kid had done to him in high school. To give his bullies credit, they never pretended to be his friend—or more. Their dislike of him was so obviously transparent that it allowed Matty to protect himself. But what Coop did…
And yet, Matty couldn’t go a minute without thinking of his smile or the way he looked into his eyes during sex. This was the cruelest trick someone had ever played on him. But he learned his lesson. He would never let someone in like that again. Professor Chertok had it right. The greats of this world didn’t let love and emotions cloud their abilities. That wasn’t why he was put on this earth.
Bang
The hockey players in his dorm had found themselves another puck. And they decided to give morning games a go, apparently. Matty lay in bed and stared up at the ceiling. He tried to imagine the night sky, the stars twinkling above a quiet Duncannon. Was it all a lie? Where did the lie stop and the truth begin with Coop? Matty didn’t want to take the chance and find out. He preferred the black-and-whiteness of technolog—
Bang
Matty whipped the covers off. He marched out of his room on a mission. Kids played hockey in pajamas or whatever they slept in. Their hockey sticks clapped against the floor. The puck jumped around like a fish on the line.
“You okay, dude?” one of the goalies asked.
“It’s eight in the morning.” Matty had the calm monotone of an experienced killer.
“Sorry about that. We kind of got into a spontaneous game. It helps us unwind before a big test.” The players all shrugged their shoulders, thinking this was a perfectly acceptable excuse. “We’ll keep it down.”
“You’ve said that before.” Matty rubbed his face. He was out of fucks to give. “I had my heart broken last night. Ripped out and stomped on, in the most calculated, deceptive, and manipulative manner. I would never wish what happened on any of you. I literally feel empty. There’s this hole in me. And I know this has nothing to do with your hockey game, but I’m asking you. Please, just give me this morning. One morning of quiet. You can laugh about me and call me whatever you want once I close this door, but person to person.” Matty held up his index finger. “Just let me have this one morning.”
The goalie looked at him in what seemed like a touch of commiseration. “Hey guys, let’s play on the sidewalk. It’s a nice day out.”
The other players grabbed their gear and exited to the stairwell.
“Don’t worry, dude. We’ve all gotten our hearts broken, and they always heal.” The goalie slapped him on the shoulder and followed his teammates.
That might’ve been a little cliché, but it gave Matty the sliver of solace that he desperately needed.
* * *
The robotics labwas all abuzz. Word had spread about the competition, and students from other engineering classes crammed inside the lab. They all wanted to check out the action and silently judge the participants. The added audience made the nerves in Matty’s stomach multiply. He got plenty of looks from classmates and other kids in the engineering program. He tried to determine which were looks of good luck, and which were ones that said “I heard about that guy who was paid to be your boyfriend.”
Matty wouldn’t give any of them another second of attention. Each of the competitors congregated behind one of the long lab tables in front of the crowd. Matty took his rightful spot. Linh came over.
“How are you doing?” she asked.
“I’m fine.”
“Kelvin’s a complete asshole. We all can’t believe what he did.”
“We?”
“The other kids in the class. We didn’t have anything to do with that.”
So they were talking about him.Figures.They probably had a good laugh thinking about how happy he was, and how it was all a fraud. He wondered why she was bringing this up anyway, minutes before the competition was set to begin. Was this psychological warfare? She sounded genuine, but Matty couldn’t tell the difference anymore. Up was down and boyfriends were mercenaries. Linh couldn’t mess with him more than anyone else had. He had reached his screwed-with threshold, and additional screwing with would have diminishing returns.
“May the best person win.” Matty stretched out his arm for a handshake. His arm was straighter than a starched shirt.
