“This is what you want,” he said to himself in the side mirror.
The car roared to life. Cameron drove down Susquehanna Avenue, waving goodbye to Browerton’s campus. He passed by these buildings thousands of times in his college career, and he took a moment to really look at them, not just treat them as background scenery on a soundstage.
And the campus was behind him. It felt weird, like he officially crossed over to adult now. Cameron waited at a stop light and turned on the radio. Music would clear his mind.
“You’re listening to Nineties at Nine,” said the DJ, who desperately tried to sound cool. “Next up is a jam any ’90s kid can rap the lyrics to. Straight off theDangerous Mindssoundtrack…”
The opening bars to “Gangsta’s Paradise” came on, and Cameron nearly lost his shit. He cranked the volume all the way up and rolled his windows all the way down. He mimicked Walker’s horrible dancing from the club and bounced in his seat. He mumbled along to the rap portion as best he could and was dying in anticipation for the chorus.
In three…two…one…
Cameron sang the lyrics at the tippy top of his lungs. He sang at his windshield. He beeped his horn at no one, just to be heard.
He made the first right turn available and pulled into a strip mall parking lot. Cameron burst out of his car, the radio still blaring, and danced. Right then, right there. Maybe people gawked at him, but he didn’t care. He squatted down down down then leaped up to the sky at the chorus and sang even louder than before. He was out of breath but not out of sheer energy.
He found himself making up a dance routine during the bridge. Step-two-three-fouring to the left, waving his hand wildly. It was better than any choreographed dance in the history of existence, orGlee.
A tubby security guard jogged across the parking lot. Cameron got into his car and bolted. He realized why this car trip didn’t feel right. He had to make one last stop.
Φ
He walked through the maze of the white circle of hell until he found Walker in the breakroom talking to his friend Lucy over second-rate coffee.
Walker’s coffee nearly fell out of his hand. He looked like he saw a ghost. Maybe that’s what Cameron was for him now.
“Hey,” Cameron said lightly. “Can we talk?”
“I’ll catch up with you later,” Lucy said to Walker. She gave Cameron a sweet nod on her way out.
“I thought you were already on the road.”
“Aren’t we all on some type of road?”
Walker ushered him to the elevator, and they found a bench outside Cameron’s old Starbucks. Where they first met.
“What’s going on?” Walker asked—he looked bruised and tired. Cameron wanted to hug him, but got the sense he should keep his distance.
Cameron looked down and gathered his thoughts, his courage, his strength. “I’m staying.”
“What?”
“I want to be with you.” Cameron’s heart felt lighter just saying the words freely. “I love you.”
“What about LA?”
“They’ll be there. But right now, I want to be here, with you and Hobie. I like this life we have.” Cameron slipped his fingers through Walker’s. “I want to give this a chance and see what happens.”
Walker nodded, which wasn’t the exact response Cameron anticipated.
“I could move into your condo.” Cameron breathed in the fresh air. “Maybe this is my path, you know? I never expected it, but I’m glad fate brought me here, to you. Man, do I sound corny.”
Walker kept his fingers still, no reciprocating. He gazed at his office building.
“This is the part where we kiss with tears in our eyes,” Cameron said. His attempt at a joke crashed and burned. “Walker?”
“You’re scared,” he said to the building. “You think this is what you want, but it’s not.” When he finally looked Cameron’s way, his expression was as fixed as marble.
“I thought a lot about this.”
