Walker busted out laughing, a real ha-ha-fuck-you laugh that he hoped Doug felt in his chest. Doug stared at him like a child having a tantrum.
“That’s rich, Doug.”
“You sat on accepting that job offer for weeks. You hemmed and hawed about whether you wanted to move to New York.”
“I was waiting to hear about you.”
“Bullshit. You were scared. And you used me as an excuse.” Doug scowled and looked out the window.
Walker stayed back. “What the hell are you talking about?”
“You were too scared to go to New York. When you got the job offer, you panicked. I saw it flicker in your eyes.” He turned to Walker and stared him square in the eye. All of his psycho, prissy bullshit was stripped away. All the armor he had put up around himself fell to the ground. “You were scared to pursue your dream because what if you couldn’t cut it in New York? What if you couldn’t be the celebrity cartoonist you were on campus? So why try, when you could just give up.”
“I thought we were going to be together forever.”
“Stop it!” Doug screamed. “Stop putting this on me. I even said we could try long distance. Remember we talked about it in the coffee shop in the Borders?”
And there they were, years ago. Walker sipped on his coffee while Doug opted for green tea.
“When you turned down the job in New York, I thought you did it because you loved me.” Tears sprung from his eyes as he shook his head no. “I was an easy out.”
Walker hadn’t seen this face in years. He wanted to comfort Doug, even though they were still fighting.
“You were a fucking coward, Walker. You use people as excuses. You think you’re being noble, but you’re just scared to take any kind of risk. You used me as an excuse to stay behind. You used Hobie as an excuse to stay at a job you’ve hated for years. You used your little senior boytoy as an excuse not to enter the real dating world.”
“You shut your mouth about Cameron. He is twice the guy you’ll ever be.”
“At least Cameron knows how to go after what he wants.” Doug heaved in breaths. Walker had never seen him so angry, so primal. “You use people as shields and then blame them when things don’t go your way. I spent years trying to make it work while you did nothing. It wasn’t easy being married to a guy who resented you when it wasn’t your fault.”
Walker sat on the bed, feeling like he got punched in the gut. Doug yanked open one of the bedroom doors.
“Get out of my house,” Doug said with eerie calm.
After a few deep breaths, Walker was ready to go downstairs. He caught himself in the mirror. The lines on his forehead, the beginning droop of his cheeks. He hated what he saw. Everything.
Ron and Hobie watched TV. It didn’t seem like they heard anything.
“Ready, buddy?”
Hobie nodded. “Can you carry my bag, dad?”
As they walked out of the house, Walker’s feelings for Doug hardened into hatred. He turned around to say goodnight, but Doug had already slammed the door shut.
CHAPTER thirty-one
Cameron
Cameron gazed at the wood floors and white walls of his bedroom. So much had happened in this place, and memories played against the bare wall like a projector. All the times he and his friends hung out in his living room, drinking and eating and talking, seemed unimportant at the time. But they codified into potent memories.
Cameron did one final sweep of his apartment. Shoved in the back of a kitchen drawer was a note to himself.Get detergent.He actually remembered trudging out to the supermarket in a rainstorm to pick some up—avoiding a guy he’d hooked up with who stood behind him in line. That was the epitome of Cameron. A responsible adult and complete interpersonal mess at the same time.
He locked up behind him and slipped his keys under the doormat for Henry. His mom offered to cover the rest of his rent unless Henry found a subletter. And just like that, Cameron no longer lived in Duncannon, Pennsylvania.
A random passerby would never guess Cameron was leaving town. He only packed two large suitcases, which sat in his trunk. As a graduation gift, his grandpa gave him his old car, a Suburu nearly as old as Cameron. He had sold, donated, or trashed everything else. He would start fresh in LA and take an IKEA trip his first available weekend. New stuff for a new apartment. Cameron looked forward to the clean slate.
He sat in his car, key in the ignition, but he couldn’t turn it on. Something didn’t feel right. The clean slate didn’t feel appropriate. He was ready to leave high school and his hometown in the rearview mirror. He had no problem letting it go. But not Browerton, not the life he’d made here.
It was finally here. The future.
