“Yes,” she said, sounding exasperated. “Look, I wasn’t in a good place. Work was stressing me out, your family hated me?—”
“Don’t you dare put this on my family, Victoria. No one made you cheat.”
“No, that’s true.”
“How long did it go on for?”
“I broke it off immediately, Adam,” she said, her voice a quiet plea for understanding. “It was just once.”
“Then why didn’t you tell me earlier? Why did you wait until the wedding day?”
“He came to talk to me the night before the wedding.” Her gaze dropped, unable to meet mine. “He wanted us to be together.”
“What?”
“I couldn’t do it,” she added quickly. “But the moment I considered it, I knew I couldn’t marry you. If I could think about being with someone else…then maybe I didn’t love you enough to make that kind of commitment.”
“Are you with him now?”
“No.” She shook her head. “It’s over. It never really started.”
“Why did you do it? Did I miss the signs that you were unhappy?”
She sighed. “I didn’t know I was unhappy until I voiced it to Liam. I didn’t even know I was capable of cheating. But…I was tired of trying to fit in with your family and failing. I felt it every time we were together. It was like I was always on the outside. I tried so hard, you know? Your family, your friends…I did everything I thought I should, but it never felt like enough. It’s like they never really liked me.”
Her admission hung in the air, raw and vulnerable. Had that really been her experience? I thought about it.
The disappointment on my mom’s face when Victoria refused to try her casserole because the meat looked too fatty. Or how my dad tried so hard to find common ground by asking Victoria about her hobbies and she said she was too busy at work to have hobbies. I’d witnessed it the other way around. Victoria was the one who didn’t seem to like my family despite how hard they tried to welcome her.
“Victoria, fitting into a family isn’t about a checklist of things you do. It’s a constant effort, yeah, but it’s more about showing your love and being open to receiving it. After the first Sunday lunch with my family, during which you barely ate anything, you refused to join us for months. You never made a secret of your dislike for River, whatever the reason. What did you expect? To start baking cakes and fall into the family dynamics like you’d been there all along?”
“Okay, yeah, I admit it was a learning curve. I never understood your whole family being in each other’s pockets. It was like we could never make plans on a Sunday because you always had to do the family thing.”
I stared at her. “I’m not going to apologize for loving my family or for how close we are.”
“River isn’t family, is he?”
“What’s with you and River? What’s he ever done to you to deserve such animosity?”
Her expression faltered. “I was jealous,” she admitted, her gaze dropping to her hands. “Of him. Of how he always seemed to be your priority.”
“Jealous?”
“Yeah. All you ever talked about was River this and River that. We couldn’t even have a movie night without you mentioning him.”
“Did you think…?” I trailed off, unable to finish the thought. The accusation that might follow.
She looked up, her eyes meeting mine again. “It seems I had reason to.”
“River has been my best friend all of my life. I don’t care if you believe me or not, but nothing happened between us until after you left.”
“How did it happen then? Did you wake up gay one day?”
“Not that I need to justify it to you or anyone else, but I’ve not labeled myself. I might be bisexual, pansexual, or one of the many queer identities. It doesn’t matter. River was there for me when I needed him, and at some point, the way I saw him shifted into something I didn’t expect or see coming.”
She exhaled a long breath. “I believe you, and I’m sorry for what I said before…about River and you.” She paused, her gaze dropping before finding mine again. “I wish you all the best. And who knows? Maybe there’ll be another wedding for you to plan soon.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, laughing.
