I swallowed dry as my eyes gravitated toward River’s lips. When my gaze met his, I saw it because I recognized it. Attraction. Want.
I’m demisexual.I remembered the exact words he’d spoken that evening on the beach.I can’t feel attraction to someone unless there’s an emotional bond first. A real connection.
Today had been a day for us to reconnect as friends and build on the time we’d spent together in Hawaii, but it had also driven us closer. If I’d had any doubt River could feel attraction for me, his eyes were loud and clear.
His lips were parted, and when his tongue wet his lips, I released a quiet moan.
“River,” I whispered.
“Hey, guys,” West said before entering the room. We jumped back like we’d been electrocuted. I didn’t dare make eye contact with River. “Well done here. This looks great. If you’re up for doing another room, that would be great.”
“Yeah, sure,” River said, picking up the bucket with paint and the brushes and leaving the room.
17
RIVER
Adam was right. I was playing hooky, but it was from my life, from making good decisions, from treating my best friend like a best friend.
Fuck.
I’d almost kissed Adam. If West hadn’t come in, I would have done it. He’d been so close I could smell his body wash,my body wash. His blue eyes had gone darker, and the way they were fixed on my mouth? My brain got ideas. It got stupid ideas that maybe Adam wanted to kiss me as much as I wanted to kiss him.
What a fucking stupid idea, right?
I placed the can of paint on the floor of the next room and uncovered the one that was already there.
“It’s pink,” Adam said.
I turned around. He looked like nothing had just happened.
“Yeah. I’ll put this one outside and clean the rollers so they don’t get mixed up,” I said, taking everything outside while Adam got started on the painting.
The rest of the afternoon went by in a flash. We ended up taking on a third bedroom, so by the time we finished, West wasdelighted with the progress, treating us to tacos he got delivered to the center.
“For real, guys,” he said. “You’ve shaved a couple of days off our list. These tacos are delicious but in no way repay what you’ve done.”
Adam chuckled. “That’s why we call it volunteering. We’re happy to be able to help, right, River?”
I nodded. “I’d be happy to come back on my next day off.”
West rested his elbows on his knees, wringing a napkin between his fingers. Suddenly, he looked really tired.
“Thank you, River. We really appreciate it. You know, with both Drew and I working full-time, we’re reliant on support from volunteers. The hospital building is perfect, but it’s fucking huge, and even with our plan to work on it in stages, it’s still a lot.”
“Could you hire people in addition to the volunteers?” Adam asked.
“Not enough money to really make a difference.”
“We should plan a fundraiser. Do you mind if I workshop something with my brothers?”
West smiled. “Not at all.”
We helped West clear up all the trash and then left.
The closest we got to my place, the more anxious I became. I couldn’t stop replaying that moment in the blue room. Was it a one-off? Would it happen again? And if it did, would it end with us kissing? And then what?
I didn’t notice we were actually inside the house with our shoes and coats off until Adam turned to me and cleared his throat.
