“Me too.” Although we were probably wishing for different things. I knew River hated seeing me hurt, so it didn’t bother me much that he was more vocal now about his dislike for Victoria. He wasn’t wrong about the things she’d done.
We stood there for the longest time. Too close for friends but at the same time not close enough. My pulse picked up with every breath he took as I wondered how long it would take until I felt somewhat like my old self again.
15
RIVER
The clink of silverware and the hum of conversation at Lusitana were usually comforting, but today, each sound grated on me.
“Hey, Earth to River.” Drew’s voice cut through my thoughts. He leaned against the bar, towel slung over his shoulder, eyebrows knotted while studying me. “You’re looking more stormy than usual. Something up?”
I met Drew through Noah months ago when we discovered Noah was volunteering at the Foundation Drew and his foster brother West had founded to support young people and children in foster care and from disadvantaged backgrounds.
The success and support the foundation had received from the community came down to Drew and West’s hard work. All while maintaining jobs to support themselves.
Every cent they raised went straight back to the charity and the kids.
When West was laid off a couple months ago, I gave him a job as a bartender at the restaurant.
The staff loved him, and so did the customers. It didn’t hurt that he was a damned good bartender, even if sometimes all too perceptive.
I forced my eyes away from the spot where Adam had sat hours earlier with his parents, the hollow feeling in my chest expanding. “It’s nothing,” I lied.
“Come on, man, you can talk to me. Guy problems?”
I hesitated, then sighed, my defenses crumbling like the crust of the lemon tarts on our dessert menu. “I just… I don’t know how to deal with all this space he’s taking up—not just here, but here.” I tapped a finger against my temple, then against the left side of my chest.
Drew’s hand lingered on my shoulder. “Have you considered just talking to the guy about this? About how you’re feeling?”
“Talk to him?” My voice was a strangled whisper. “And say what, Drew? ‘Hey, by the way, your existence is throwing my entire world off balance?’”
Drew’s eyes softened with empathy. “Trust me when I say I know exactly how you feel, and I’m totally asking you to do as I say and not as I do because fuck knows I’m never going to do anything about it. But what’s stoppingyou?”
I turned to him, measuring my words carefully so I wouldn’t give too much away. “You’re in love with West, aren’t you?”
His eyes widened. “I’m going to murder Noah.”
I chuckled. “Why?”
“Because he opened his mouth. That’s why.”
“Don’t go on a killing spree just yet.” I leaned closer to the bar. “I just saw the way you looked at West when we were helping you at the old hospital months ago. I’m sure he’s unaware of it.”
“Then you know why I can’t do what I’m telling you to do. If I tell West I have feelings for him, he’s going to be all grossed out, and I’ll lose him.”
“Why?”
He huffed, picking up a glass and cleaning it. “Because we’re brothers, and apparently, that’s frowned upon.”
“Dude, you’re foster brothers. You grew up in the same place, not out of the same vagina.”
“Ew. Please don’t say that again.”
“True though. So, what’s the real excuse?”
He shrugged. “Isn’t it obvious? I don’t want to lose him. If he doesn’t feel the same way, it’ll be awkward. We’ve always had each other’s backs. We built the Star Finders Foundation from nothing. I can’t give all that up. It’s too great a risk.”
“And you don’t think the potential gain would be worth it?”
