Adam’s chuckle joined Lex’s teasing, but I could sense an undercurrent of something else in his tone. “Yeah, Morgan’s not bad-looking. What do you say, Riv?”
Not this again.
“Guys, come on,” I tried to laugh it off, though I couldn’t quite meet Adam’s gaze. “I’m pretty happy with how things are at the moment.”
“Sure, sure,” Lex drawled, unconvinced, but he let it slide, turning back to finish his cocktail with a satisfied slurp.
Adam’s eyes lingered on me a second longer, searching, before he also redirected his attention to the horizon.
“I’m going for a short walk before getting ready for dinner. My ass is numb from sitting here all this time,” I said.
Sand clung to my feet as I walked, the waves kissing my feet every time they came up the shore.
Relief washed over me as I walked, yet a weight lingered on my chest. One I’d been shouldering for far too long. My feelings for Adam were like the molecular structures tattooed on my arms—intricate, complex, and bonded by invisible forces.
Some days, the secrets I carried felt too heavy a burden. Now, as I gazed at the expanse of water beside me, I wondered if I could share at least one of those secrets. I’d always been too afraid in case Adam made assumptions that were way too close to the truth, but it also meant I wasn’t being my authentic self with the one person who knew more about me than anyone else.
“River. Wait.”
“Adam,” I replied. “What are you doing here?”
“I wanted to apologize for Lex and Noah back there,” he began, his tone sincere. “They don’t know when to stop sometimes.”
“Nothing to apologize for,” I managed. “It’s just…their timing wasn’t great.”
“Timing?” he echoed, stepping closer, his gaze never leaving mine.
“Never mind,” I said, looking down at my feet, suddenly finding the patterns in the sand fascinating.
“River,” he said softly, moving to stand beside me, watching the waves roll in. “You’re always there for me, for everyone else. Let me in. Sometimes, it feels like there’s this barrier between us. I can’t see it, but I can feel it.”
“Sometimes questions are better left unasked.”
“Maybe,” Adam repeated, quieter this time. “Or maybe we’re just afraid of the answers.”
I glanced up at him then, caught off guard by the intensity of his gaze, by the raw honesty I saw.
“Come on,” he said after a moment. “Let’s head back before Lex drinks all the good stuff.”
“Right. Can’t let that happen.”
We started back together, the silence between us stretching out like the infinite ocean in front of us.
“River,” he began, “why don’t you date much? I mean, you’re a great guy, and it’s not like you lack offers.”
I’d give it to him. His timing was impeccable because as much as I wanted to cling to the layers of self-preservation, there was also part of me that needed to know how Adam would react.
“It’s complicated.”
“Complicated how?” There was that gentle probing again, laced with genuine concern, and I knew there was no more evading the truth.
Taking a deep breath, I let the words tumble out. “I’m demisexual. I don’t…I can’t feel attraction to someone unless there’s an emotional bond first. A real connection.”
My confession hung in the air. For a moment, he said nothing, and that silence was louder than any reaction I had braced for. Then he nodded slowly, like he was processing this sliver of my identity I’d just laid bare before him.
“Demisexual,” he repeated, testing the word. “So, all those times people flirted with you…”
“Meant nothing,” I finished for him. “They were just faces, Adam. No matter how attractive or interested they were, without that connection, it’s like trying to admire a view with the curtains closed.”
