"I didn't think you'd still be here," he says before he closes his mouth as if he wasn't expecting to catch himself talking.
His comment taps into a part of my past that I took a long time to heal from. But that's ancient history now. I smile and mean it. "There are a lot of really good reasons to stay."
Jud points at the house.
"Among other things. Noah and Anita are good friends…maybe…" Should I say it? Fuck it. "Maybe we can…I don't know, meet up some time to talk?"
He pulls his sweater down, and a warm feeling spreads through me. That was such a Jud thing when he was feeling self-conscious about his weight.
This Jud doesn't seem to lack self-confidence, so maybe the gesture is so ingrained in him that he doesn't even notice when he does it.
"I don't think that's a good idea."
"Why?"
"Because we're different people. We grew up. There's no reason to assume we'd still be friends."
"And whose fault is that, huh?" I'm unable to keep the edge off my voice.
He looks around us, and I notice some guests arriving.
"We can talk about whose fault it is, or we can pretend we haven't seen each other."
I take a step closer but then hear someone call my name. I groan when I see who it is.
Jeff approaches, giving me a kiss on the cheek.
"Hey, babe," he says, placing a claiming hand on my lower back. I step away from him.
"Hi. What are you doing here?" I ask.
"My nephew isn't feeling well, so I've been tasked with bringing the gift to the birthday boy…hey, once I've done this, do you want to—?"
"No," I say, knowing how abruptly that came out. "Sorry. I mean, I can't. Ollie's my godson. I'm not leaving his party."
Jeff shrugs. "Too bad. See you soon…you know you'll want to." He winks and then jogs to the door.
When I look back at Jud, he's staring with his mouth wide open.
"What?"
"You want to know why we can't be friends? Why we can’t pick up where we left off, Skyler? Because you were in my life for eighteen years. Eighteen fucking years and I feel like I never truly knew you. That," he points to the door where Jeff is talking to Anita, "just proves it."
He starts walking toward the van. I follow and grab his arm, forcing him to turn around to face me.
"What do you mean?" I ask.
"You're gay or bi? Because last time I checked, you were straight, but I don't believe for a second that wasn't the setup for a rendezvous."
I can't keep from laughing. "Rendezvous? On this side of the ocean, we call it a hookup. Wait…how do you not know I'm gay?"
"You're gay?" His voice goes up a notch at the same time that he checks me out from head to toe. Is that a French thing? Are the French so open-minded about sex that they're able to freak out and assess a potential sexual partner at the same time?"
The thought makes me laugh even harder.
"What's so funny?"
"You, Judbug. How did you not know I'm gay?"
