"Very easily. I haven't seen you for nine years, seven months, and three days. I've gotta go."
He leaves me on the sidewalk, staring at the back of his van with jumbled thoughts, jumbled feelings, and maybe a little bit of hope.
The only thing is, I don’t have a clue what I'm hoping for.
5
Judson
I open my closet and take out one of my new work shirts. This one fits better than the one I found at the back of the closet last week. It’s suitable enough for work, but it doesn't fit properly, and I don't like how it makes me feel.
Ill-fitting. Not quite good enough.
Or maybe it has nothing to do with the shirt and everything to do with bumping into Skyler twice within a week.
I need to remember this town isn't that big, and now, I don't have the anonymity of the big metropolitan city. People here still remember me.
Or better, they remember the chubby gay kid with the awkward thick-rimmed glasses always falling down his face.
Not that I still wear glasses. Laser eye surgery took care of that a few years ago.
And I'm no longer chubby. Hearing people call me the fat, lazy American chef behind my back, and sometimes to my face, hurt at first, until I proved them wrong by losing the weight and becoming the youngest sous chef to work in one of Paris's most prestigious restaurants.
I button up the shirt, wondering what Skyler thinks of how I look now.
At least, unlike the first time I'd seen him, the second time I'd been wearing clothes that actually fit me. Who knew that helping my mom out by making the birthday cake and cupcake delivery for her would put me face to face with him again.
Dammit, I promised myself I wasn't going to think about him. Stupid brain.
The conversation we had outside Noah and Anita's place has been on a loop inside my head like one of those songs you can't stop singing.
Skyler is gay. I let that sink in…because it seems that days of thinking about it haven't done the job.
I know that every person comes out in their own time, but how did I not even have a clue? It's not like he was actively chasing girls in high school, but he did have a couple of girlfriends, and he never mentioned boys in any way.
Did he wait until I was gone to come out? No, that doesn’t make sense because even I hadn't known I was going to leave when I did.
I brush my thoughts aside. I especially don't want to think about how he's only gotten better looking since we were eighteen.
He's taller and more muscular than I thought possible. When Molly referred to him as the Henry Cavill look alike, she wasn't wrong.
Skyler looks like he could throw me around and do what he wants with…wait…what?
I shake my thoughts away again and grab my wallet and phone.
Today, I'm doing the wine tasting for the bartenders, so I need to get to Vino earlier, which also has the silver lining of missing dinner at home. I don't want to break my mom's heart, but I can't continue to eat so much food.
I'm taking my chicken salad from the fridge when the door to the backyard opens.
There's a gasp as I close the fridge door, and I realize it's not my mom coming back in but Skyler's mom.
Mrs. West and my mom met at the maternity ward when Skyler and I were born only hours apart, and they've been friends ever since.
She rushes over to put her arms around me, squeezing tight.
"Oh my goodness, sweetheart. It's so nice to see you." She pulls back, looking me up and down. "You look great, Judson. You lost weight though. Are you eating enough?"
"He is, but then he goes on his long runs every morning and loses it all again," my mom says, coming into the kitchen.
