The kiss lasts a lifetime and no time at all, and when we pull away from each other I know everything is about to change. It's exciting and heady, and everything I didn't know I needed in my life right now.
Xander cradles my face with his hand and looks straight into my eyes.
"Ash, can I take you somewhere?"
I smile, tracing his soft, full lips with my finger. "You can take me anywhere, Xander."
Before we get lost in each other again, or end up in my bedroom, I stand up and look down at my old lounging clothes. I can't remember how long I've had this shirt and cotton pants, but they're what I wear when I'm not feeling well.
Now, after crying in Xander's arms and then kissing him within an inch of his life, I'm suddenly embarrassed.
He laughs and comes closer, placing a soft kiss on my lips.
"I'd actually prefer it if you wore nothing, but the adorable look totally does it for me too. You might want to change though. It's freezing outside."
I push him away and leave him quietly laughing behind me as I go to my room.
My bed is a mess from my restless sleep, so I'm glad we haven't ended up there. I go to the wardrobe and pick a pair of thick jeans and a warm sweater to wear over my shirt. A shirt without holes and whose color I can still recognize, may I add.
It's not until I go to the bathroom to run some water over my face that I look at myself in the mirror. Holy crap, the man must be blind to want to kiss the chaos that is my face, with the red eyes from crying, the day-old scruff, and the mess that is my hair.
No point in thinking about it too much. The kiss has happened, and it was amazing, so I need to make myself presentable and get out of here, especially before Victoria comes back home from whatever hell she spends her days in. It's just a shame it's not a hell that pays.
Stop it, Ash. She doesn't deserve an ounce of your energy, especially not today.
When I get back to the lounge, Xander already has his coat on.
"Ready?" he asks.
"As I'll ever be," I say, taking my dad's coat from the hook and putting it on.
I'm not sure where Xander is taking us because, while it's in the direction of the city, we don't seem to be going into the city.
"Where are we going?"
Xander keeps his eyes on the road but releases one hand from the steering wheel and laces his fingers with mine.
"A place that is very special to me."
I squeeze his hand lightly, and he leaves it there until he needs it again to navigate the winding roads leading to the wherever we’re going.
We arrive at this big old colonial-style house. Xander parks in a free spot facing the house, and I notice there are a few different signs outside the door.
"Come on," he says, stepping out of the car.
I follow him, and as we get closer, I notice the name on all the signs, 'The Bookworm Corner.’
"What is this place?"
"My favorite place in the whole world," Xander says as he takes my hand, and I pretend my belly isn't full of drunk butterflies. "Well, second favorite. I've recently found a farmer's market that totally beats this place."
Okay, I may be totally blushing, and those butterflies are doing their best to take off from my tummy.
"Anyway," he says, chuckling. "My grandfather brought me to this bookstore for the first time when I was five. I loved it so much we kept coming back until he died a few years ago."
My dad used to say that things that are meant to be aren't difficult to achieve or hard to get. Often, it’s us that put all the obstacles in the way. I now understand what he meant.
Xander has a connection to books in the same way I have. Books are the little pieces of string from our memories that we unravel to bring back our loved ones.
