Vítor
As soon asI opened the door, I excused myself to the bathroom, making a joke about old men's bladders and a long car journey. It hadn't been that long a drive from Aveiro, but I hoped Tiago wouldn't call me on my white lie.
There were too many thoughts and feelings warring for attention, and I needed to make sense of it, with the biggest one being the feeling that I was betraying Dri somehow by bringing Tiago here.
I splashed some water on my face and looked at myself in the mirror.
Nothing had changed in the last few weeks since I left for Lisbon.
I looked closer, my nose nearly touching the cold surface. There was a small difference, and it was one I couldn't see but could definitely feel. It was the splinter of a future that wasn't just made of dinners for one, of attending conferences on my own—or even worse, avoiding them altogether. A future that still held some excitement because it was unknown but full of possibilities.
I'd never considered I'd have any kind of relationship after Dri was gone. When he was in hospital after his surgery, he'd asked me to not forget to live after he was gone. I'd laughed it off because at the time, I'd still had hope that the surgery and the following course of chemo would kill the cancer. It didn't, and I'd wondered if he'd known even then that his life wasn't going to be as long as we'd hoped.
It was one of my many conversations with Sebastião, the closest thing I had to a father figure, that once again put things in perspective for me. "You don't need to figure things out straight away, Vítor. Life is rarely long enough for that, so you may as well buckle up and pull the window down. Enjoy the wind on your face."
I looked for Tiago when I came out of the bathroom and was surprised to see he was still by the front door. His eyes were on the pencil portrait I'd done years ago.
"This is beautiful, it looks so real, who are they?" he asked.
Even though the portrait had been hanging on the wall for years, I'd got used to walking past it without paying any notice. "Er, it's me, my best friend, my brother, and his wife."
The portrait was the only thing I had from my old life, and even that had only been drawn once I'd escaped.
"You made this?"
"Yeah."
"How old were you in the picture?"
"Twenty. Shall I give you a tour of the house? We can stop by the guest bedroom so you can drop your bag."
He looked disappointed, but I didn't want to answer any questions about the portrait or the people in it.
After I showed Tiago where the guest room was, I took him around the house, finishing in the kitchen where my cleaner had left a homemade cake knowing I'd be back this weekend.
"I can see it now," Tiago said as we sat on the swing in the garden, facing the house. "You can appreciate the design of the house from here, but you'd never sit at the front and do the same. I also love the way you have the glass doors going across the whole house."
I nodded. All the living areas had been designed to be part of the garden so when the glass doors were open, it was hard to see where the building ended and the garden started, making that part of the house open plan. It also meant we could go from the kitchen right through to the living room and my office.
"Do you mind if I disappear into my office to deal with a few things? Feel free to explore or take a dip in the pool. You can see me from here." I pointed to the far side of the building where we could see my desk through the glass.
"You have a swimming pool?" His mouth was wide open as he stared at me. "Man, you married well."
I smiled and kissed his head before I got up from the swing, leaving him with his coffee and a giant slice of cake.
The pile of unopened letters sat in front of me for a whole ten minutes before I was able to divert my attention from the young man sitting on the swing with one leg under him and using the other to keep the swing in motion. His coffee was on the little table at the side and he was paying full attention to the cake on his plate.
Tiago looked a lot more relaxed now, and despite my doubts, I was glad I was able to give him some time to just be himself. He put the empty plate away and sipped his coffee, leaning back on the seat and enjoying the mild weather.
Tomorrow was going to be another nice day, so I knew exactly what we were going to do. Now I just needed to stop staring at him and deal with these bills.
I looked at the clock on the bedside table. It hadn't moved much since I last checked it just after midnight.
Once I'd dealt with the bills and outstanding correspondence earlier, I'd asked Tiago if he wanted to go for a swim. He'd been like a kid in a candy store. When I'd left him, I'd thought he'd get curious and look for the swimming pool and the secret garden beyond, but he'd stayed where he was until I'd joined him again.
After the swim, we'd ordered takeout for dinner and watched a movie. He'd been leaning against me throughout the movie, so I'd not even noticed he'd fallen asleep. Like a few nights ago, I'd lifted him off the sofa and taken him to the guest bedroom. The difference was this time, he called my name instead of his brother's.
It had taken willpower I didn't know I had to stop myself from slipping under the covers and wrapping myself around him. Once he'd settled in, I'd left him and gone to my own bedroom, the one I'd shared with Dri and where we'd made love, laughed, and cried more times than I could count.
