I saw him flinch at the memory he was recollecting, but I didn’t interrupt.
“Vítor was a shy kind of boy and very thoughtful. He liked to draw houses and always had a drawing pad with him. We used to joke that one day he would be an architect, even though we knew we couldn’t afford for either of us to go to university.
My father thought men were supposed to be tough and respected. When he drank, which was quite often, Vítor was his target. I tried to help him and deflect the situation as often as I could, which worked most of the time.
As we grew up, I became close to this beautiful girl. She was all I could think about, and I spent all my time talking to her and telling her how great she was and that one day I was going to marry her.”
He looked at my aunt with so much love in his eyes that I knew he was talking about her.
“Anyway, as we grew older, Vítor became a bit more withdrawn, and I was so caught up in my own life I didn’t bother to find out what had changed.
“When he was twenty-three, he was seen by someone local kissing another man in a club. They told my parents, and my dad beat him up so badly he was in the hospital for a week.
“Even though I wanted to see my brother, I couldn’t. Your aunt was pregnant at the time, and I was afraid of what would happen if we showed any sign of support.”
“What? You were pregnant?” I asked my aunt.
“I miscarried shortly after, and then was told we couldn’t have any children.” There was a sad smile on her face. I’d known they wanted kids and couldn’t have them, but I didn’t know they’d been close to having one.
My uncle continued. “My dad had said some horrible things about my brother, and to a certain degree, I believed him. I was going to talk to Vítor as soon as he was out of the hospital, but he disappeared before I could.”
“He disappeared?”
“Yes, I don’t know where he went. One day he was just... gone. We haven’t seen him since.”
“Did you look for him?” I asked.
“I did. I tried to find him behind my father’s back, but when we lost the baby, everything was too hard to cope with.
“After a while, I was just so angry with everything. I was angry because we lost the baby. I was angry because Vítor had left, and even angrier because he was gone for being gay.”
He paused for a moment, and it was when I knew he was going to talk about me. It was written in his eyes.
“I saw you and Joel kiss at the beach when you were fourteen. I had a delivery to make to one of the restaurants nearby. I knew you would be there, so I was going to check if you wanted a lift home.
“When I saw you, I was immediately taken back to that time before my brother went missing.
“I was terrified that I’d lose you because you were gay and also angry that you were.”
“We were only kids.Even I didn’t know what it all meant. I guess I realized it then that I liked Joel and maybe I liked boys rather than girls, but it was all so confusing.”
“I know that now. I think I knew it then too. I tried to ignore it, but when I saw you with that boy a few years later, I just lost it.”
I knew he was talking about the time he saw me with Isaac when his parents had kicked him out.
“Did you know all this?” I asked my aunt.
“Not all. I knew a few things, especially about Vítor, but I didn’t know about you.” She touched my face to clean my tear streaks.
“Your uncle is in trouble with me.” She winked. “But we talked about it, and I know his heart. He’s loved you like a son from the day you were born. You should have seen his face when we visited you and your mom in the hospital. I know he’s done and said things that have broken your relationship, but give him a chance.
“I’ve seen you with Joel in the last few weeks. There’s more than just friendship between you, isn’t there?”
“There was. I hurt him, aunt, and I don’t think he’ll ever want to speak to me again.”
“David, if he loves you, he’ll forgive you.”
“I don’t know.” I looked down at where my hands were on my lap. “I just came back from his apartment. He doesn’t want to see me anymore. Tia, I’m scared he’ll go away and never return again.”
