Chapter Ten
Joel
It had beentwo days since David and I had read the journal and made plans to go on a road trip to visit all the places our moms had documented. It had also been two days since I’d asked David to come with me to the Sanctuary and two days since he’d given me the most caring, comforting, and heartfelt hug I'd received in a long time.
Despite our height difference with me towering over David, we’d fit together perfectly, and I’d felt cared for and rooted in his strong embrace. I’d held him tight and breathed him in, hoping I could keep some of his strength for myself when the time came to use it.
We also now had our moms’ car, and that made such a difference. The time we’d spent together after we found out about the car had brought us to the same space, but the car itself brought us together.
Now I was sitting in Ladybug, hands gripping the steering wheel tightly, waiting for David to join me.
"Hey, I'm here. You ready to go?" David said, getting in the passenger seat and looking for the seatbelt. "Joel?"
I looked back at him, and, with a tight smile, I said, "Yeah... sure." I put the car in gear and left the parking space, heading toward my parents’ final resting place.
"Ladybug is beautiful,” David said, touching the dashboard of the car. "I love the windows and the soft top too."
I had to admit the car was a gem. My favorite feature was also the soft top, which just rolled back and was held in place by two snaps. My second favorite feature was the folding front windows, which were hinged in the middle, lifting up and out and folded back against the door.
"Yeah, it has its quirks, but I like it. It feels like I'm driving an old race car. Not that this car would ever be capable of chasing anything faster than a moped." I laughed.
The road to the Sanctuary was windy and with variable speed limits for which I was thankful as it allowed me to focus on driving rather than thinking about where I was going. David was silent beside me, almost as though he knew that was what I needed, his presence calming me in the same way a long run in Central Park did. Silence, concentration on the road, and focus on shifting the stiff gears were all I could cope with.
I had been to the Cape and the Sanctuary of the Cape with my parents before. They told me the story about their wedding day and why the location meant so much to them. They used to go there to watch the sunset when they were dating. Dad had said there was no question about where to propose, and when he did, they decided they would get married at the Church of Our Lady of the Cape.
The Sanctuary was at the end of a long open courtyard with lodges on either side that apparently used to accommodate pilgrims when they visited the area. I wasn't big on history, but the place was important to my parents, and they’d talked about it with such passion that I couldn’t help memorize what they’d shared.
They married on a weekday, and the lack of any other religious ceremony allowed them to set up a long table in the courtyard for the reception party. The marriage took place in the afternoon and then they partied right outside the church with all their family and friends until my mom offered her bouquet to the Lady of the Cape by throwing it out to sea.
It was a beautiful story. I remember asking my mom to recount it over and over when I was a child, completely fascinated by the romanticism of it all.
One hour later, we were arriving at the Sanctuary. We got out of the car, and I grabbed the container that had the small portion of the ashes I had decided I would scatter myself.
"Wow, this place is beautiful," David said, almost in reverence.
"I know, right? Just wait till we get to the other side of the church." I walked past the cross at the end of the courtyard toward the church, David following. I looked behind me and saw him taking in the surroundings.
"I'd like to go inside the church just for a few moments. Is that okay?" I said
"Of course. I'll come inside with you," David said.
We went in and sat on one of the last pews by the aisle, and I took a moment to look around and then up toward the ceiling. The church was beautifully ornate considering its small size. I let my gaze wander to the altar and focused on all the beautiful gold-painted pillars surrounding the statue of Our Lady and immediately knelt.
I wasn't very religious, but I felt compelled to pray. I prayed that wherever my parents were, they would be together, that the reason they were taken from me so young was that their love was so pure and good that it was needed elsewhere. And most of all, I prayed that I would become someone my parents would be proud of. If in my life I could have half as much love as they did in theirs, I would be the happiest person on the planet.
And just like that, I was ready. Willing to set my parents free, let them fly away, and become part of the breathtaking landscape of the country they left but had never stopped loving.
David looked deep in thought, and I wondered what he was thinking about. Was he praying for his mom? Whatever it was, I hoped he would share with me whenever he was ready. I couldn't put my finger on it, but I had this gut feeling David was living with something sad, raw, and painful. I desperately wanted to take that away from him.
I put my hand on his arm and got up to leave. David smiled gently and got up too.
There were a couple of arched doorways on either side of the church that gave access to the cliff. Once we went through the arches, I could feel the coastal wind now that the building wasn't sheltering us. The view was just breathtaking, and I could see why my parents had loved it so much.
The sea was rough against the rock and took on a variety of shades of blue, from pale turquoise to azure, and ended in a dark blue that almost turned to green in the distance.
We went as close to the cliff as safely possible and sat down on the wild grass. I imagined my parents coming here together. Thirty years ago, they would have looked at the waves crashing against the same rock formations, the miles of uninterrupted beaches in the distance, the colors of the ocean, the almost cloudless blue sky, and the occasional seagull flying past.
No other place on the planet held such a significant meaning to my parents, and letting them rest here wasn’t just about following their wishes but doing what was right for them.
