“Is it, though? How did he act around you today?”
I think about the grocery store, the way Jordan seemed to hang on every word I said about baby care. The relief in his eyes when I offered to help. The way he looked at me when I got Henry to stop crying.
“Grateful. Like I was solving all his problems.”
“And?”
“And what?”
“Was there anything else? Any looks? Any moments?”
I close my eyes, trying to be objective. “Maybe. I don’t know. It’s hard to tell when someone’s just relieved to have help.”
“What does your gut tell you?”
My gut tells me that Jordan Hadley is trouble. The kind of man I could fall for hard and fast if I let myself. My gut tells me that the way he looked at me today had nothing to do with gratitude.
“My gut tells me to focus on the job and not complicate things.”
“Your gut is boring.”
“My gut is practical. I need this job, Esme.”
“Fair point. But promise me you won’t completely close yourself off to possibilities.”
“I’m not scared.”
“You’re terrified. You’ve been terrified of getting involved with anyone since Ash’s father left.”
The words hit harder than I expected. “That’s not true.”
“Isn’t it? Every guy you’ve dated since then, you’ve found reasons why it wouldn’t work out.”
I want to argue, but there’s truth in what she’s saying. I have been careful. Maybetoocareful.
“Look,” Esme continues. “I’m not saying throw yourself at the man. I’m just saying, don’t assume the worst.”
“I don’t know anything. That’s the problem. Anyway, let’s move on. How was your new chiropractor?”
She humors my deflection, and we move on to other subjects. After we hang up, I sit on the porch for a few more minutes, finishing my wine. Jordan’s house is mostly dark now, just one light upstairs that I assume is his bedroom.
Part of me wants to text him, check if he needs anything, but that feels like crossing a line.
Tomorrow, I’ll go back over there and continue teaching him how to care for Henry. I’ll keep things professional and friendly. I’ll focus on the job and not on the way his eyes crinkle when he smiles.
I’ll ignore the fact that, for the first time in months, I have something to look forward to every day.
Standing up, I collect my empty wine glass and head inside. Ash is still sleeping on the couch, and I debate whether to wake him and send him to his room or just leave him there for the night.
I choose to leave him, covering him with an extra blanket from the linen closet. Tomorrow will come early, and I need to be ready for whatever challenges Jordan and Henry will bring.
It’s a good job. A job I need. And if there’s something else developing alongside the professional relationship, well, I’ll deal with that when I have to.
CHAPTER 9
ALEXA
My phone buzzing on the nightstand pulls me from sleep. I squint at the screen. Eight thirty a.m. and a text from Colby’s mom asking if Ash wants to come over to play. Then another message follows:We’re planning to go to Laser Quest and the arcade afterward, if that’s okay with you.
