“I guess I need to start by telling you that I came from quite a religious upbringing, and when I found myself attracted to men as well as women, well, that didn't fly with the family. My parents were ashamed, and they kicked me out of our home. I spent some time on the streets, but CPS eventually caught up with me, so I ended up in the system as well.
By then I was fifteen and well and truly out of the closet. I knew I liked boys and girls, and I wasn’t going to pretend otherwise to appease anyone. My first foster family was nice, and they even had a son about my age. Tyler and I would hang out at home all the time, but when we were at school, he pretended not to know me. I was okay with it; I had my own friends. But it soon became more than hanging out. It started with a quick kiss... Tyler surprised me when we were wrestling on his bed one day.” Oliver's hand comes up to pat me on the leg, giving me support and much needed comfort. The same way that I know his past, he knows mine. We might have had this painful distance between us for the last few years, completely of my own making, but no one knows me like Oli.
“After that, it slowly grew. Kisses became caresses which became hand jobs which developed to blow jobs. Eventually, we lost our virginity to one another, but Tyler was so firmly in the closet that he threatened me. If I ever told anyone, he would make sure his mom and dad kicked me out. So I kept quiet. At school, I was open about my bisexuality, and I hung out with a very artsy crowd. The music and drama kids were so accepting of that sort of thing, so it was no big deal, but Tyler and his asshole jock friends were always slinging shade our way. No matter how many nasty words were thrown at me, I just kept my mouth shut. I wanted to believe that one day he’d wake up. I needed to believe, I think, that he would realize someday that we were meant to be with one another.”
Oli’s grip on my leg grows tighter as I come to the next part of the story, knowing what’s coming. “One weekend, Tyler’s parents were out and he had come into my room as soon as they left. Neither of us realized that they had forgotten something and returned. When they walked into my room, I was on my knees with Tyler's cock down my throat. His mother screamed, and his dad yelled, and Tyler pushed me to the ground and claimed I had forced him. How I could force him to let me blow him, I have no idea, but the parents believed him, of course. Within hours, CPS was picking me up. They were smart enough to realize it was consensual and that Tyler was making shit up to hide the fact he was into boys from his parents, but by then the damage had been done. The loving, kind family I had been taken in by had turned on me in an instant, and I promised myself that I would never let that happen again. No matter how much it seems like someone could love you or care about you, they can turn on you if you crossed the right line. Or at least that’s what I started to believe after what happened with my foster family.”
When I finally look at Harlow, having avoided doing it during that part of the story, her eyes shimmer with sympathy. “Oh, Holden, I’m so sorry. But that doesn't explain this. How did you go from losing that faith in people to giving Oliver a chance?”
“Well, when Oli and I met in the home, we sort of gravitated to one another. Although I think it was an instant attraction on both our behalves, both of us were wary. Oli, because he was always high on ecstasy when he’d had sex, and it wasn’t exactly consensual. Me, because Tyler had hurt me so badly. I really thought that he would at least admit to us being involved prior to getting caught together, but he didn't. He was willing to let his parents, two adults I had trusted and respected, think the worst of me. He wanted them to think I was arapistrather than confront a completely normal truth about himself. At that point, I was just having a lot of trouble seeing myself as having any value...”
Oli sits up and takes over the story. “When I had first been picked up by CPS, I sort of went a little crazy after I was placed with the first family. They had a daughter, and I seduced just about every one of her friends in an attempt to prove that I wasn't into guys. That it was only the drugs that had fooled me into enjoying the experience, that had kept me from screaming to the world that I was being raped. Needless to say, things didn’t end well with that family, so then I was sent to the group home and met Holden. Even though I wasn't sure about my sexuality, I realized I was attracted to him, and the fact that I felt that attraction while sober made me want to at least try it. So we kissed. I knew then and there that I liked guys and it wasn't just the X that had caused my reaction, so we dated. We did things that couples did, and it was amazing.” His eyes are glassy as he remembers back to that time, bringing a heavy dose of guilt.
I clear my throat, ready to take up the story again because it really is my burden to share what happened next.
“Then Brad came along. We didn't hide that we were a couple, thinking there was no way that he would adopt one of us, let alone both, but when the news came that he would, I guess I had a little mental breakdown. My thoughts went back to my first family and how disgusted they were that I was caught with my foster brother, and I decided I wouldn’t jeopardize the adoption for either of us, so I broke up with him. He begged and pleaded, but I basically ignored him. We both went a little crazy those first few years, living so close to one another and not being together, and we both acted out. Drugs, fights, sex. When I look back, I guessthatprobably did more to jeopardize our new family than anything, but Dad and Nana and Poppy never gave up. Oliver got into his drawing and me music, and things got better.”
“But now?” Harlow pushes.
“Well, being shot has woken me up to how freaking stupid I’ve been, and now I don’t want to let my life pass by thinking what if.”
Chapter Fourteen
Harlow
My heart aches for these two who have been through just as much shit as I have, but I have another question which is incredibly selfish. I promised myself I'd ask all the hard ones, so even if I feel a little awkward about putting them on the spot after they’ve both bared parts of their souls, I need to follow through with this.
“So where does that leave us?” I wave between us all, not sure whether I really want to hear the answer. I'm happy that they’re making their way back to one another, and I guess I shouldn't be greedy, but I can’t help feeling disappointed.
“Well, hopefully, it leads to you sandwiched between the two of us,” Oliver mumbles into my lap before turning his face to look at me, a cheeky grin covering it.
“Really?” I ask, looking between the two of them while trying to stifle the smile that threatens to break through. I don’t want to broadcast how excited I am about the thought of this happening. Sure, I’m ready to start anew with Oliver, and Holden and I have this whole situation between us, but I don’t know if I’m ready for them to see just how into this idea I am.
“Yes, Harlow, I think we both agree that if we couldn't have you as well, both of us would be devastated. I mean, we would be happy with one another, but you just seem to be the missing link. There’s never really been a time where either of us were invested in getting to know someone new, and for us to both have that nowandfor it to be the same person, well, it just makes us feel like this is something we can’t afford to lose. Likeyou’resomeone we can’t afford to lose. We want a chance at this, the three of us.”
“Okay.” I slowly draw out the word, not sure what to say next, but I try to fumble through it anyway. “But what about if I’m with some of your other brothers too?”
Oliver sits up and crawls over my body until I'm squished, carefully, between the two. Their body heat radiates, warming my skin and curling my toes. My heart skips a beat, and my core throbs.
“As long as you give us equal time, we don't care. In fact, Nana has been whispering in my ear about what a good idea it would be. As long as it’s only our brothers, neither of us has a problem with it.” Oliver’s mouth is inches from mine now, and I can feel his breath on my lips.
“Nope, we think keeping you happy and well loved is the best thing, and if they can help out with that, then we’re all for it.” Holden's breath brushes along the shell of my ear, and my nipples ache with how hard they are. Just as I’m about to lunge for Oliver's mouth, he pushes away.
Moving into the bathroom, he comes back shaking out two pain pills and hands them to Holden followed by a glass of water. Holden throws them back and then returns the water to him.
“But for now, I think we need sleep. You’re off to Hawaii with Kai and Jaxon tomorrow, and you need your rest, as does Holden. Now give him a kiss goodnight. He has to sleep on his own because of his shoulder.”
As I turn to Holden, I don't miss the disappointed look on his face, and neither does Oliver. “Oh, don’t worry, there will be plenty of time to make up for it, but if your arm heals wrong, there goes your music, not to mention it will make it difficult to do all the things you want to do to Harlow.”
I giggle as he quickly loses the sad look and gently scoots down under the covers. When he’s ready, he lifts his head, mouth puckered. I love seeing this cute side of him. Leaning in, I place a gentle kiss on his mouth that turns into more. Although he gave me an orgasm on the dance floor, I hadn’t been able to taste his mouth. A groan escapes me as he deepens the kiss, his tongue tangling with mine, but hands on my hips pull me away all too soon.
“Now, now, remember what I said! Don't want to damage that arm,” Oliver teases.
“It’s not my arm that's aching,” grumbles Holden, and I wink at him.
“Told you I would get my punishment.” His eyes light up, and he bows his head. “Yes, Mistress.” Oh, that's so much fun. Oliver must think so too if the groan behind me is anything to go by.
Climbing off the bed, I go to take my tray with me until Oliver waves me off. “Leave it, I’ll deal with it in the morning when I get his breakfast.”
