“We were such idiots, Harlow. Especially me. Can you find it in your heart to forgive me?” Oli begs before I can even get a word out. Wanting to get a feel for where Harlow’s at, I keep my mouth shut and watch this play out. He needs to apologize more than me. Oli told me about what happened between the two of them at Neighpalm Ink. I didn't warn her or help her stay out of Jacinta's trap, but I also didn't hook up with her and tattoo her then shatter the trust we'd started to build.
She takes a deep breath and releases it as an audible whoosh of air. “Oliver, what you did hurt me more than what Jacinta did. Her prank was childish and ridiculous, and yeah, I was upset because it was my first public appearance as a part of this family, but that felt like nothing compared to your betrayal.” Her piercing green stare doesn't leave him the whole time, and Oli's body droops at that direct hit. I want to comfort him, to take him up in my arms and tell him that we’ll figure this out, but I don’t dare get in the middle of this. If I want to have the both of them, I need to let this happen whatever way she wants it to.
“I thought you and I had something. And contrary to what you believe, I don’t let just anyone throw me up against the wall and ravish me.” A confused wrinkle appears on her brow, and she mumbles something else under her breath. Despite trying to keep it to herself, I still manage to catch the words. “Though it seems to have happened more with you and your brothers than it ever has before.” She shakes her head and continues, ignoring my smirk.
“I realized you must have known about the billboard because after you received that text, you closed yourself off. Instead of going ‘Hey Harlow, Jacinta's going to fuck you up tonight,’ you shut down. Your inaction hurt way more than Declan, Jaxon, and Jacinta’s verbal attacks, and way, way more than Holden and Thomas’ indifference. You were the first to open up to me, and I feel like it was just convenient to use me at the time. I helped you get rid of the clingy artist, but then I wasn’t needed for anything else, so you stepped back and allowed Jacinta to play her games.”
A tear trickles down Oli’s cheek, and I’m honestly a little surprised. I know that we both want her in our lives, but I guess I wasn’t really understanding how deeply he was feeling. Oli doesn’t cry for just anyone; as far as relationships go, the last person that I know he shed a tear for was me.
“I’m so sorry. The moment it happened, I knew I’d done the wrong thing. I knew it was wrong, and I can’t deny that, but there’s still that part of me that tries to do everything it can to avoid causing waves in the family that chose to love me. I know that you didn’t have the easiest upbringing either, so I hope I’m not assuming too much by saying that I think you understand just how precious it is to find someone who wants you after others have decided you’re utterly not worth it.” He sighs, his gaze coming up to meet mine before moving back to Harlow's. I didn’t force his hand or make him let Jacinta take the lead, but I played my own part in breaking Oli. His last comment wasn’t meant to be a jab, but it hurts me anyway. I’ll always regret that I ever made him feel unwanted.
“You know that Holden and I were adopted later than the others. We were almost seventeen by the time Dad brought us home. He and I had been living in a group home for about eight months by then. His story is his.” When Harlow turns to me, I close my eyes and nod, knowing that when he’s finished, it’s time I share my own past. “Mine is not one I like to talk about or even remember, but I want you to know me, to understand why I made the wrong choice so that maybe you’ll consider giving me a second chance. My parents were very much like yours, but not only did they do drugs, they cooked and sold them as well. They couldn’t always pay for the materials they needed to make them, so they started using me as currency.” Oli’s gaze is on his lap. He won’t look up at us until he’s done sharing; even though I’ve heard it before and know him more intimately than most, he still has difficulty talking with me about this. I know how great his shame is, and the fact that I can’t physically comfort him at the moment frustrates the hell out of me.
“One of their suppliers, a fucking creepy guy, had a taste for boys. Thankfully, he didn't like them too young, so I was safe for a while, but by the time I was fourteen, they were giving me ecstasy and then passing me to this man. He would use my body, and because of the X, I liked it. Begged for more, in fact, so it became a regular thing. Since I didn’t fight them on it, they didn’t even bother to make sure they had enough to pay him with. They knew that no matter their lack of funds, they could just pay him off with me. Until one day, my parents pissed off the wrong person. Both were killed in a home invasion along with the guy they’d been selling me to.” Oliver’s eyes cloud as he gets lost in the memory, his breathing increasing to the point that I’m almost ready to say fuck it. If he gets worse than this, I’m pulling him over to me. It might be clumsy, and it might be awkward for Harlow, but he needs to be held so that he knows he’s not back there anymore, that he’s not alone anymore.
“He was fucking me when it happened. His heavy body pinned me to the ground, and—” He shudders, a sob escaping his mouth before it sets in a firm line. “I can still feel his hot blood covering my face as he bled out. The home invaders took exception to pedophiles. Murderers with morals, who knew? One of them freed me, but the damage was already done. There’s something about that spray of hot blood hitting you… feeling a weight hold you down when you know that you can’t help yourself… I was already a goner at that point. I went into the system since there was no family to take me in, but after two foster homes returning me because of my screaming nightmares, I stayed in the group home. I was assigned a shrink, and it helped somewhat, but it wasn't until Holden came to stay that things started to get better for me.”
Harlow’s face is covered in horror, and a tear trickles down her cheek. She jumps up from where she is and crawls down the bed, her delectable ass just barely distracting me as she wraps her arms around Oliver’s shoulders and hugs him tightly. He sobs quietly, but neither of us speak, just letting him be for now. I’m so freaking proud of him for telling her. It’s not something heevertalks about. His shrink encouraged him to talk about it, but apart from me, Jacinta is the one person he opened up to about it. I don't know what she said and I’m not sure I ever will, but afterward, it was like he was so much lighter. Like by opening up about his demons, he’d managed to purge them. That sharing between the two of them was a huge moment for him in terms of feeling like the Summers were truly his family. He’s never been as whipped by her as Declan and Jaxon, but there’s definitely a soft spot that he’s had for our sister ever since he let her share some of his burden.
He pushes away from her, wiping his eyes and looking determined as he keeps hold of her hand. “Anyway, Jacinta was the one person I talked to about it all, and because of her, I learned not to be ashamed of my sexuality and liking boys. She helped me start believing that not everyone was going to break my heart if I let them in. People could love me and have it be real. Them getting close to me didn’t mean that they were just using me.” His gaze turns to mine, and I shudder at the hurt in them. I guess it’s almost my turn to tell my tale. “And that’s why I didn't go against Jacinta and tell you.” He runs a hand through his blue hair and shakes his head. “There are still a lot of things that are a hot fucking mess in my life…I’ma hot fucking mess, but I know with certainty that I won’t hurt you like that again, and I’ll do whatever it takes to make it up to you. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.”
I can tell by the look in her eyes that she already has. Harlow is now seeing the broken boys we were, the skeletons in our closets that created the foundations of who we are now. Sure, thanks to Dad and the advantages he gave us, we’ve been successful. But success can’t cure all the pain and insecurities that others never see. It might give us the resources to mask those things, to make the world see only the facades we want it to, but it doesn’t wipe away the darkness that fundamentally shaped how we view the world and people around us.
“Oliver, I’m sorry too. I see the seven of you having this amazing life with Dad and Nana and Poppy, and it’s too easy to forget there was a reason you all ended up here. I can’t say that I’ve made the same mistakes that you or any of the others have, but I’ve had my own moments of weaknesses where the ghosts of my past haunted my present. I want to have a place in this family, whatever form that takes, and I can’t promise that I can forget about the hurt you caused. However, I know that I can grow and move past it, and I think I’d like to do that. With you... ” She places a hand on his cheek, and something inside me clenches with the tiniest bit of jealousy, though it’s not because I want to take either of their places. Instead, I want to be by their sides, my own body thrown into the mix instead of watching from the head of the bed with my arm slung across my chest.
“Let’s give a fresh start a try?” She places a gentle kiss on his lips before pulling away and looking at me, a flush of guilt on her face. But I just smile, showing her that I’m not upset in the least.
“Well, I guess it’s my turn for storytime.” I pat the bed next to me, unable to resist the desire for their company. “Both of you come up here, and let's get comfortable. I want to snuggle… well, as much as I can while I tell you.” Harlow crawls back up the bed followed by a much lighter Oliver, though he winces in a way that causes me no small amount of amusement. His painkillers will have worn off, and his new tattoo must be giving him some grief.
“Harlow, before you get comfortable, can you get Oli’s aftercare cream out of the bathroom? It’s on the sink.” Oli’s eyes widen with panic as she climbs off the bed and goes in search of it. By the time she comes back, that panic has darkened into a promise for revenge, though I can definitely say I’m not intimidated in the least.
“You got a new tattoo?” she asks, walking up to his side.
Before he can answer, I jump in. “Yeah, and he can’t see it, so can you rub some of the cream in?” I ask, biting my lip to stop from laughing.
“Of course. Where is it?” When we got back from the hospital, Oli had gotten me set up and comfortable on my bed, then he’d taken a quick shower. When he came back out of my bathroom, he was wearing a tank and a loose pair of pajama pants, forgoing any boxers to lessen the pressure against his new tattoo.
Rolling his eyes, he turns over and gestures to his ass. Harlow's eyebrows jump in surprise, and her eyes widen before she looks at me, eyes narrowing. “Problem… Mistress?”
“Oh, don't you Mistress me, buddy. You areveryquickly tallying up infractions. Punishment will be swift and severe when it comes.” Holy fuck, my dick gets hard just thinking about all the ways she could punish me. I will sub for this woman any fucking day. Thank god the bed sheet is over my lap, but it’s not saving much of my dignity since Oli’s face wound up close to my lap when he rolled over. He’s got an up close view of what I’m dealing with now, and though there’s a snarky smirk on his face this time, there’s also an echo of the heat that I’m feeling. I don’t know if he’d join Harlow in giving me directions or if he’d be aching to sub for her too, but I’d love to take him in any way I can.
She pulls down his pants, exposing his tasty butt cheeks. I got to give it to DS; she does have good taste. I’d like to take a bite out of them myself. And from the look in Harlow's eyes when she glances up again, I don't doubt she’s thinking the same thing. I can see her nipples pebble beneath her cami, and she swipes her tongue across her lip.
“Holy shit. Did you tattoo DS’s bite mark? Dude, you’re not supposed to tattoo over bruises.” She sounds horrified, but there’s a touch of awe mixed in there too, like she can’t help but be impressed.
He turns his head to look at her. “I wanted a reminder of one of the stupidest things I did in my life to make sure I never do anything as idiotic again.”
I don’t know how, but he’s apparently just said the magic words. Harlow practically melts into a puddle of goo, a blinding smile on her face, and I’m holding back an eye roll. I cannot believe that worked. He turns back to me and winks at my shock.Ass.
She gently rubs the cream into the tattoo, but I’m pretty sure she takes longer than needed and cops a feel of his tight backside at the same time. Not that Oli looks at all upset. When she pulls up his pants and gestures for him to move over, his pants are tenting as badly as mine did, but unlike me, he does nothing to hide it.
She sees it as he moves so she can climb in between us, but she simply responds with a roll of her eyes, trying to hide the smile that I know wants to break out across her face.
“Okay, time for serious stuff part two,” I announce, and that stops their smiles instantly. “Oh, no, mine isn't as bad as Oli’s,” I try to reassure her. “It’s more the stuff afterward that I’m ashamed about and wish I could take back.” My gaze flits between the two of them, hoping that Oli understands what I’m trying to say.
I tuck Harlow into my side, my good arm wrapped around her, and Oli lays his head on her lap so that we’re all touching. Something about this feels so comfortable, so right. Oli’s always been home to me, and that feeling just expanded when we were found by our family. Now, sitting here with the two of them, I know there’s space in that home for Harlow too. In fact, I’m starting to feel more complete than I ever have.
I hate to disrupt the warmth of this moment, but I know it needs to be done. It’s now or never, and if I don’t say it now, I know I’ll be losing out on the chance to really create a connection between the three of us. Sighing, I start my story.
