“I still shouldn’t have done it.” He sighs, bowing his head. “I should’ve found another way to help him.”
“Well, you can be there to give him a ride home when he gets released.” Levi’s gaze lifts, his brows furrowing as he studies the smile that appears on my face. “Cole didn’t cause the accident.”
His eyes widen. “What? How do you know?”
“The officer in charge of the investigation called me.”
Levi pulls his hands out of mine and rubs them over his face. He tilts his head back and looks up at the sky, and when he returns his eyes to mine, I notice the glassy look in them. I stand and switch chairs, sitting beside him and resting my hand on his knee.
“You know, I was beating myself up for a while for not being more mad at you,” I admit. “I thought I was letting my dad and sister down by not holding a grudge against someone that kept me from finding out the truth. But someone I love once told methat everything happens for a reason, and then we are in control of how we react to it and what we do with it. And I told Travis that I want to teach Claire how to forgive and let go. So, that’s what I’m doing.”
“You forgive me?” I nod. “How? Why? I just… I don’t know. I guess I can’t believe it.”
Giving his knee a squeeze, I take a deep breath. “Blue made a comment about us being even, and it hit a nerve. But I think it’s because she was right, in a way. You protected Cole, and I never called the cops on Travis. We both got hurt, albeit mine was emotional while yours was physical, because we acted with our hearts and not our heads.”
Levi sighs, tilting his head so it can rest against mine. I smile softly, rubbing my thumb along the side of his knee as we sit in a comfortable silence. His posture is rigid, however, tense in a way that makes it clear his mind isn’t at ease.
“I’m sorry that I took so long to come back to you,” I whisper, lifting my head so I can look him in the eye. “It had less to do with you and more to do with me. I was dealing with the guilt of what happened with Travis, and the unknown of how Claire was going to handle it all. But do you want to know what she told me when I finally talked to her about what happened with her father?”
Levi nods. “She told me she missed him. And when I told her that I’d always be there for her, she said she wasn’t talking about her father. She was talking about you.”
His eyes fall shut, and I see a lone tear slip down his cheek. I reach a hand out and cup his face, using my thumb to brush it away. He releases a shaky breath, his lip quivering slightly before he looks at me again.
“I never believed in fate or destiny. I’ve always hated the idea that I had no control over what happens to me. If raising a kid taught me anything, it was that I always felt this need to be incontrol. That it was up to me to give her the best I possibly could, and it killed me to think that there were all these predetermined events that would happen throughout her lifetime that I couldn’t protect her from.”
Levi reaches out, slipping his hand into mine and resting them on his thigh. “When Margot died, it just solidified that feeling within me. Because how is it possible that her fate was to die in a car crash that young? How can Travis’s destiny be to become a drug addict? And who decided that mine was to be in an abusive relationship, become a single mother, and then later lose my father and sister? It just seemed like some twisted joke, you know?”
He rubs his thumb along the back of my hand when I take a deep breath before turning so my entire body is facing him. “But then I went to see Travis, and he apologized for everything. And as I sat there listening to him talk, something changed. I realized that if Travis hadn’t started using, we would’ve been happy. And if we had been happy when Margot died, I wouldn’t have come to this rooftop. And if that hadn’t happened, I would’ve never met you.
“And if I had asked for your name that night, I would’ve looked you up. If I had done that, sure, maybe I would’ve left Travis sooner, and maybe we would’ve had those five years together.” He’s looking at me so intently, a slight furrow in his brow and his eyes still misty, so I lay my free hand on his forearm. “Or maybe we wouldn’t have made it. Maybe you would’ve been so caught up in turning your business around, and I wouldn’t have been strong enough to know what I want and deserve, and resentment would’ve grown between us.”
I sigh, glancing down at our hands for a brief moment. “This is my long winded way of saying that, yeah, I wish some things would’ve gone differently in my life, but if they had, I don’t think I’d be here with you, in this moment. I think everythinghappened just the way it was supposed to so we could find each other. And if I had been able to see what my life would become—where I would be today—all those years ago when I hated the idea of fate… I would have endured it all, because I would’ve been looking forward to what was to come. I would go through it, all of it, again if it meant it would lead me to you.”
Levi dips his head, capturing my lips in his and my heart skips a beat. He brings his free hand up to cup my face, sliding it into my hair with a gentle caress. Pulling away, he rests his forehead against mine, silent tears cascading down his cheeks.
“I love you, Lowe.”
“I love you, too.”
He presses another soft kiss to my lips before he says, “So, does that mean?—”
“That I was right?” I smile up at him, and he chuckles. “I guess so. I think we’ve found out that fate is real.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
A SATURDAY IN APRIL
Levi has his arm around my shoulders as I hold Claire’s hand, walking through the headstones in search of three specific ones. Stopping in front of Neve’s first, I release a shaky breath as tears instantly pool in my eyes.
Claire slips her hand out of mine and reaches into her pocket, pulling out the butterfly necklace. She sits cross-legged in front of the tombstone and begins whispering, staring at the necklace in her hands. Levi instantly pulls me tighter against his side as I wipe at my eyes.
Focusing on the one beside Neve’s, I rest a hand on top of it. My father’s name stares back at me, and I don’t try to fight the tears anymore as they overflow and cascade down my cheeks.
“I miss them,” I mumble, closing my eyes for a moment. “Will it ever get easier?”
“One day it will,” Levi responds, rubbing soothing circles on my back. “One day, you’ll find yourself waking up and falling asleep without thinking about them. And you might find yourself feeling guilty about it, but they will forever be in your heart. You won’t forget about them, but you’ll continue to learn how to live without them.”
I smile sadly, leaning into him. “When did you get so wise?”
