To my surprise, Levi reaches out and cups my chin, bringing my eyes back up to his own. He studies me for a moment, his blue eyes searing into my soul as if he were looking for something there. By the way he drops his hand and takes a tiny step back, I assume he didn’t find what he was looking for.
“I’d ask to walk you out, but I forgot my bag up in my office and you seem like you’re in a rush.” I can’t help but smile at the offer. “This probably sounds really dumb, but can I still text you now that I’m home? I mean, it wasn’t like an ‘only because I was out-of-town’ thing, right?”
I laugh and reach out a hand, gripping his bicep. “Of course you can still text me. Doesn’t mean I’ll respond, though.”
At my wink, he laughs and shakes his head. “That’s all right,” he says before his eyes settle back on mine. “I know where you work.”
“I guess you’ll always know where to find me.”
“Thank god for that.”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
A FRIDAY IN MAY
“Don’t you try to run away from me,” Kirstin calls as she trails me down the hallway towards the bathroom.
“I’m not,” I respond as I chuckle. “Can’t a girl take a bathroom break on her own?”
Kirstin tuts. “Not when said girl is trying to dodge my questions.”
I roll my eyes as I push the restroom door open and slip inside, heading into the stall. The sound of heels on the tile floor let me know Kirstin did, in fact, follow me in.
“Honey, you’re so smitten, I can see it clear as day,” she says, and I hear the sink turn on. “But I also feel you’re not one hundred percent in.”
I sigh as I pull up my skirt and flush the toilet. As I walk out of the stall, I mumble, “Why does everyone have me pegged so well?”
Kirstin doesn’t justify that with a response and instead leans on the counter to watch me as I wash my hands. Heading towards the door, I grab two paper towels and dry off my hands before slipping back into the hall with her hot on my heels.
“You can’t ignore me forever,” she tells me as I head toward her office, not missing the few glances we get from those who are still working.
“You’ve made that very clear,” I mutter as I finally reach her office and step inside.
She closes the door behind her just as I fall into one of the plush leather chairs she has around a mahogany coffee table. Kirstin walks over to her desk and grabs a folder before she joins me, sitting in the other chair.
“Talk to me, Mar.”
I fidget with my hands that rest in my lap, refusing to make eye contact. Is this really a conversation that I want to be having? Do I really want to tell her the truth of the absolute mess that is going on in my head?
The entire purpose of this move, of me taking a chance, was to help the company get back ahead of our competition. To prove that we can match anyone of any stature or social standing accurately and effectively. Something that the other matchmaking service in the city couldn’t do.
What happens if I can’t figure out where my head is at? What if I’m not truly ready for this? I am, without a doubt, terrified of having my heart broken again and having to pick up the pieces.
I find myself terrified every single night that Travis will make his way back to the apartment and do something stupid with Claire there. Every single day, I worry that he’ll pop back into my life. He has been radio silent for over a month now, since that night Cole came to my rescue, and my gut is telling me it is only a matter of time.
Is it fair for me to bring Levi into this mess? To bring him into my world where I’m struggling to pick up the pieces? Better yet, how is it fair to him for me to keep him in the dark on these things? He should be able to decide on his own what he can and cannot handle.
But I think, deep down, I know that the reason I haven’t said anything yet is because I don’t want him to leave. The attention is nice, even though I hate to admit that fact. His sweet and attentive side in the week I have known him is something that I have severely missed these last seven years.
I can’t remember the last time I felt beautiful or the last time that I smiled this much. It has been so long since I felt wanted by someone and I selfishly don’t want that to go away.
“It’s just all so messy,” I finally say, sinking into the chair slightly. “There’s Travis and Claire and my job and my social life and all the broken pieces in between. I just feel like he doesn’t deserve to get dragged into any of it.”
“Marlowe,” Kirstin whispers as she leans forward and rests a hand on my knee. “He is sticking around because he likes you, okay? Get those thoughts out of your head.”
“I haven’t told him anything about me,” I admit, and that causes Kirstin to raise a brow and sit back. “I mean, not really. He knows all the small and mundane things, but he doesn’t know I have a child that I’m raising on my own or an ex that’s an addict or that I lost my family recently.”
Kirstin gives me a sad smile, resting her elbows on her knees as she tells me, “Those things don’t make up who you are, Marlowe. Yes, they’re important aspects of your life, but they don’t define you. You’re so much more than all of that.”
