“I just hate keeping him in the dark because I’m too afraid that he’s going to bail when he finds out.”
“Honey, it’s okay if you’re not ready to tell him everything so soon.” I glance up and finally make eye contact and see the sincerity in her eyes. “You need to move at your own pace. I will say it’s important to tell him about Claire sooner rather than later, but everything else can come with time. For once, you need to do what’s best for you and not do what you think is best for everyone else.”
I sit silently and mull over what she has just said. Have I always done what everyone wants or expects me to do? Do I always put the needs of others above my own? And I realize, rather quickly, that I do. I’m a people pleaser and a caretaker by nature, but I often forget to take care of myself.
Yet I still can’t separate doing what’s best for me, doing what I want to do, and making sure that I’m not taking away something from someone else. Where’s the line to walk here? At what point am I being too selfish at the risk of wasting someone else’s time?
Kirstin suddenly sits forward and hands me the folder that she had grabbed off her desk before sitting down. I stare at it for a moment with a raised brow, but she just waves it in the air until I grab it.
Flipping it open, I spot the all too familiar statistics and Levi and I’s photos. My brows furrow together as I scan the contents, flipping through the pages. But when I reach the end, I understand why she gave them to me.
“I ran the numbers again,” she tells me, drawing my attention from the pages up to her. “Levi gave me some more information. Marlowe, you’re now two points shy of a perfect match. If that doesn’t tell you that you won’t scare him away, I don’t know what will.”
I standin the bathroom at work and stare at myself in the mirror as I finish doing my hair. Settling on a loose bun, I pull the front pieces out to frame my face. My gold hoops hang from my ears, matching the dainty gold necklace and rings I paired with the outfit. I have changed into a thin pale orange long sleeved top with a tank underneath, only buttoning one button. I decidedto go more casual and threw on a pair of high-waisted jeans with holes in the knees, and I completed the look with a pair of strappy black heels.
“You look gorgeous,” Blue tells me as she sits on the countertop between the two sinks. “You’re going to have him drooling at your feet.”
“Thanks for bringing this for me,” I say, applying a thin coat of lip gloss. “Made my life so much easier.”
She smiles and nods. “Didn’t make sense for you to run home when Stanley’s is only a few blocks away. Besides, it gave me a chance to love up on Winston.”
“He is a good boy, isn’t he?”
She nods. “When do I get to dog sit again?”
I drop my lip gloss into my purse and glance at my phone to make sure I’m not falling behind on time. Giving myself one last glance in the mirror, I sling my purse on my shoulder and turn to Blue, gesturing towards the door.
“Claire has a sleepover in two weeks,” I tell her as we exit the bathroom. “I figured I’d work late that day if you want him.”
“Absolutely,” she says, practically skipping ahead of me as she leads us to the elevators. “You know he loves his auntie even more than Claire does.”
I laugh, pressing the down arrow. “I don’t know about that. My little girl is obsessed with you.”
Blue gushes, putting a hand to her chest and I just roll my eyes. The elevator dings and the doors open, and she gestures for me to step on first. We lean against the same railing after hitting the button for the lobby.
“Is he coming tonight?” Blue suddenly asks.
“Why do you think I had you bring me a change of clothes?” She laughs and shakes her head. “He already saw me this morning. I didn’t want to show up in my work clothes.”
Blue swivels her head to look at me, and when I meet her gaze, I don’t miss the calculating look in her eye. “I enjoy seeing this side of you again. I missed her.”
“What do you mean?”
We reach the lobby before she replies, stepping off together and heading for the large glass doors to slip out of the building.
“You just seem lighter, more carefree,” she finally says once we step outside. “I know I make you smile all the time, but it’s nice to see you smiling for a different reason. I hope this works out for you, Mar. I really do.”
Blue pulls me into her arms, engulfing me in a tight hug as I wrap my arms around her waist. “Thank you, Blue.”
“Now have fun tonight,” she tells me with a squeeze of my biceps. “Call me if you need a ride.”
Walking into Stanley’s,I’m met with the sounds of laughter and loud conversation. I smile at the hostess as I approach, stopping directly in front of the stand.
“Has anyone arrived yet?” I ask, adjusting the strap of my purse.
“A few people,” she informs me as she glances down at the tablet in front of her. “Kirstin is up there with Nico right now, too. Oh, and the DJ is here as well.”
“Amazing, thank you, Wendy.”
