James nodded slowly. "The desire to be alone is something I can certainly understand" he agreed. "And this makes sense of many things. I can see now why you are so averse to the idea of marriage. I can see why it alarmed you so greatly when Lord Blackburn was inappropriate with you. Of course, he was very out of line even if your past had not been what it was. But theway you reacted to him makes a great deal of sense now that I know all this."
"You don't think less of me?" Victoria asked. She had been sure that this revelation would change the way James saw her forever.
"Of course I don't," James assured her. "You seem to think that you've told me something about your character, but you haven't. You told me a story about something that happened to you. I'm very sorry that it did happen, but I don't feel as if I've learned anything new about you as a person. You are still the same person I thought you were before you told me this story—someone I respect. Someone I admire."
"Admire?" Victoria asked softly. Could he really have meant that?
He cleared his throat. "I mean to say—I think very highly of you," he said, his voice low. "That was what I meant."
"Of course." Victoria bit her lip. She shouldn't have assumed he had meant anything more complicated or deeper than that.
"But my point remains," James said. "I don't think differently of you because of this story you told me. I'm sorry that happened, but it doesn't change the way I see you."
Victoria felt tears well up in her eyes. No one ever said that to her before. Not even Cressida had told her that what had happened didn't change who she was as a person.
"So you didn't marry my late cousin out of a desire to become a duchess?" James asked her.
"I had no interest in being a duchess," Victoria said. "I simply wanted to be left in peace. Perhaps you can relate. I've often wondered why you are not married yourself."
James turned away from her slightly. "Marriage is not for me."
Victoria wondered what he meant by that. It sounded as if he, too, had some dark secret that he was holding close. But she knew how hard it had been to reveal her own past, and she didn't want to force his hand.
"I'll wear the gown you selected," she told him rising to her feet, and the ghost of a smile appeared on his face.
CHAPTER 19
"Worthington Manor is one of the oldest estates in London," James told Victoria as the two of them walked through the front door. "The Worthington ball is something I've been looking forward to. I always enjoy being inside this house."
Victoria nodded, turning slowly to take it all in. The stonework was beautiful. The foyer was surrounded by tall, thick columns that stretched all the way to the ceiling. The marble staircase at the far end of the foyer swept upward like a wave, parting down the middle as it neared the top and curving into two balconies on either side, overlooking the foyer. It truly was a beautiful house, and James felt sure she would have enjoyed being here much more under different circumstances.
Even as it was, though, she seemed more relaxed than he might have expected. Perhaps it was their conversation of the other day that had set her at ease. Perhaps it helps her to know that he was on her side, and that he didn't intend to force her into an uncomfortable situation.
She looked lovely in her gown. James had been right in his selection of the color. The pale emerald brought out her eyes and set off her auburn hair in a truly lovely way. Already he could see that she was drawing looks from the other ladies and gentlemen assembled around the room. As they walked through the crowd, heads bent together, and people whispered about the two of them.
James listened hard to hear what was being said.
"I can't believe she dares to show her face."
"She does look lovely tonight, though."
"What difference does it make what she looks like? The fact is that she's a criminal. Don't you feel that we are all in danger with her here?"
"Don't be ridiculous. What is she going to do to anybody with all of us watching? Even if she is guilty, even if she is responsible for her husband's death, what possible motive could she have to harm anyone in this room? And how could she possibly get away with it with so many eyes on her?"
James turned to look at Victoria, to see how she was handling all this.
She was still looking at the architecture. If she had registered the voices around her, she gave no sign. James was sure she must've heard them, because some people weren't troubling to keeptheir voices down. The conversations were easy to overhear. But Victoria seemed to have no trouble ignoring them. She must've taken what he had said the other day to heart — she was keeping her head up and doing her best to let the comments roll off her back. He had to admit, he was proud of her.
After a moment, she turned to face him. "The house really is lovely," she said. Look at that chandelier! It's so much nicer than the one we have at home, which is old and rusting. I think we should talk about replacing it. We should talk about getting something new and modern like that one. What do you think of it? Wouldn't it look good in our foyer?"
James raised his eyebrows. "Our foyer?"
"Oh, very well. Your foyer, then."
She was smiling. James found himself laughing as well. "I don't mind if you call it both of ours," he said.
"Well, that's a first."
