“No. I’ve made my decision,” he said. “And I don’t care to hear your opinion about it. I don’t need to know what you think of her—if you think she’s a suitable choice for me or not. In fact, knowing that you didn’t approve of my choice might make me more confident of it, because you know how I feel aboutyourchoices.
“The last thing I want is to end up in a situation like yours, Mother. I wasted years of my life afraid of marriage because I thought a marriage like yours was the only thing possible. I was so turned off by the idea that I almost passed up a chance at love when it found me.”
“Don’t tell me you’re considering marrying forlove,” his mother said disdainfully. “Even you ought to be smart enough to know, Seth, that such things never last. That isn’t real. It’s an illusion. It’s a myth.”
“There was a time when I would have believed that,” Seth said. “I don’t believe it now. I’ve felt love, Mother. I know that it’s real. I’m not going to pass it up just because you did.
“I’m not going to settle for a marriage of convenience now that I know the real thing exists, and I’m not going to deny myself the pleasure of being with the lady I love. I’m going to her now, and I’m going to let her know of my feelings.”
He felt a surge of satisfaction as he said it. There was relief in knowing that he had made up his mind about what to do—relief and pride in equal measure. And he also knew that Lady Lavinia was what he wanted, and now there was a chance that she might actually become his.
That was almost too good to believe, and yet it was truly happening. He was going to go to her. He was going to ask her to marry him.
And then he remembered what she had said to her brother.
She didn’t want to marry him. Those were her words. She wanted Lord Hennington. She chose Lord Hennington.
Well, I’m just going to have to hope she’ll consider changing her answer.
The only thing he knew for certain was that he wasn’t going to let this opportunity go to waste. He wasn’t going to stay here and do nothing while the lady he loved accepted a proposal of marriage to someone else.
Even if it meant he would be rejected, he had to go to her. He had to tell her that he had been wrong, that he wanted her after all.He had to make sure she knew that this was one of her options, because there was always a chance she would change her mind if she did.
And maybe she wouldn’t. Maybe he would come back here, humbled, with nothing to show for his efforts. If that was what happened, he knew that his mother would never let him hear the end of it. She would spend the rest of her days telling him that he should have listened to her, that he should have accepted the lady she had chosen for him rather than striking out and trying to make an arrangement on his own.
He would forever have to hear about how foolish he had been to believe that love might be real.
He could hardly believe that circumstances had led him here.
Even so, he was going to try. He was going to tell Lady Lavinia of his feelings.
It was the same thing she had said to him when she had asked for that final kiss. Even if it amounted to nothing at all, at least he would know he had done all he could.
CHAPTER 35
“Lavinia, the viscount is here,” Edwina said quietly.
Lavinia looked up. She had been sitting at the piano in the conservatory for hours, ever since the message had arrived at breakfast letting them know that Lord Hennington would be coming today. Today would be the day of his proposal. Today would be the day she would accept it.
She had already made this decision. It shouldn’t matter. But it did, somehow. It mattered because after today, there would truly be no going back. She would be his, and there would be no more excuse for daydreams or fantasies about a life with the duke. There would be no more point in wondering what such a life might have been like.
The truth was that she should have stopped thinking about that a long time ago, but she hadn’t been able to get it out of her head. It lingered there, like a tune that wouldn’t go away.
Edwina came over and sat down beside her. “Are you ready to see the viscount?” she asked.
“I suppose I’ve got to be,” Lavinia said. “Today is the day.”
“It won’t be so bad,” Edwina said gently. “Just think—you’re going to be married.”
“I know,” Lavinia murmured. It was all she could think about.
“He’s a good person,” Edwina said. “At least there’s that.”
“You’re right. I know that I could have it much worse than I do. I should be grateful.”
“It’s all right,” Edwina amended quickly. “I don’t mean to say that you ought to feel anything other than what you feel, Lavinia. But…I hope you can find a way to be happy. You know I want that for you.”
“I know you do.” Lavinia rose to her feet. She had a responsibility to her sister. She couldn’t allow Edwina to feel any of the dread she was feeling today. If she did, Edwina might develop a dread of her own marriage, and Lavinia didn’t want that. She wanted Edwina to be able to look forward to the day she would receive a proposal of her own. It wouldn’t be too far away now.
