“Try to bepolite, for once,” she shot back.
He said nothing, and after a moment, she walked away.
He knew he had been rude. He felt bad about it. But he wasn’t sure what else to do. If he allowed himself to be kind to her, he would inevitably let her get too close, and that would be disastrous. He had to make sure that when she met the right gentleman—whether it turned out to be Lord Hennington or someone else—he could step out of her life without any trouble.
Today had served to wake him up to the fact that he was too close to her. He was forgetting the need to be careful. If he could feel an emotion like jealousy toward Lady Lavinia, it meant that his mother and Allan were right. He had gotten far too close.
He shouldn’t have even agreed to give her dance lessons. Well, this would be the last thing. He would prepare her to dance, and then he would let her know that their time together was at an end. She would just have to accept that he had given her all he could. Surely she would understand that.
If there was one thing he could say in her favor, it was that she never seemed to take anything for granted. She never behaved as if she was entitled to any special treatment. In fact, she had always seemed very grateful for every good thing that came her way. Plenty of ladies he had met could have taken a lesson from her in that respect.
He would teach her to dance. They would have one last night together in secret. And then it would be time for him to let go of her for good.
CHAPTER 23
She would be late. That was what Seth told himself as he approached the library that evening. After all, she was always late. He would learn from the past, and this time he wouldn’t expect anything else.
He opened the door of the library—and was stunned.
Lady Lavinia was already there.
She stood in the middle of the room, turning in a slow circle. Her back was to him—she hadn’t noticed him yet.
But then she completed her circle and came face to face with him. “Your Grace,” she said, and her hands knitted together quickly.
Seth thought he recognized what she was doing—trying not to start fidgeting again. He respected the attempt. He respected,too, the fact that she had made it here on time. “You’re early,” he said.
“I felt bad about having been late in the past.”
“Well, at least I can see that you know how to tell the time,” he said. “I admit, you had me worried about that.”
She sighed and turned away from him.
At once, Seth felt regretful. He shouldn’t have criticized her like that—there was no need. He knew there was no need. He was trying to keep his distance from her, and that was all very well, but surely he could do that and still show her kindness.
“Well, come here,” he said. “We have dance lessons to get through, and then we’ll have to get you back to your bed—I don’t want to be up too late tonight.”
She nodded. “I agree,” she said. “I don’t want to look tired tomorrow. It’s important to show myself at my best. I’m sure you agree.”
He did, and yet there was that old pinprick of jealousy, needling at him again as he imagined her showcasing her beauty for other gentlemen to observe.
Perhaps he was only feeling frustrated because, after all the work he had put into making sure she would be ready to win the approval of gentlemen, it was others who would reap thebenefits. Perhaps he was aware that all his efforts would yield no personal reward, and that was what had him feeling so frustrated.
He cleared his throat and held out his arms. “Come,” he said. “Let’s see what you’re capable of.”
“You mean—dance with you?”
“What did you think we were going to do? Did you imagine I would summon your sister to dance with you, as you described to me? You need to be able to dance with a real gentleman.”
“Oh—no, I know that,” she said, her face flushed. Her hands unknitted, and she began to pluck at the stitching on the bodice of her gown. “I wasn’t sure what you meant. That’s all.”
Seth thought back to what she had said earlier that day. She fidgeted like that when she was nervous, she’d said. And she had readily admitted that he made her nervous, so it made sense to see her doing it now.
But then he thought of what he had seen at the picnic, when she had sat with Lord Hennington. Her hands had been still and easy. And based on what she had said to him after that, she hadn’t been incredibly mindful about not fidgeting—she wasn’t even sure whether she’d done it or not. Her calm demeanor had come to her naturally, with no effort on her part whatsoever.
She had not been nervous around Lord Hennington, in other words.
And she was nervous with Seth.
