Was this what it meant to love someone?
“If I came back with you,” she began.
His head lifted. His eyes searched hers.
“I’m not saying I will,” she told him.
“What can I do? How can I persuade you?”
And suddenly, Edwina found that she didn’t need to be persuaded after all.
It was as if all the walls that she had had up all this time came crumbling down all at once, leaving her feeling as vulnerable as the day she was born.
“Do you really wish to marry me?” she asked him, her voice barely rising above a whisper.
“I’m just sorry that it took me so long to realize it,” he told her. “If I had any sense at all, I would have asked you the very first day we met. I wouldn’t have wasted your time and mine with these dates, with the pretense of acting as though I was only doing it for the sake of finding someone better suited to me. If I had had any sense at all, I would have known from the beginning that no one could possibly be better suited to me. Tell me that you’ll come back to London with me and agree to be my wife. I haven’t done anything to deserve it, but I ask you anyway.”
“I will,” she told him quietly, unable to believe that she was actually saying the words—that she was truly accepting a proposal. It was really happening, this thing that she had sworn to herself she would never do. “I’ll marry you.”
His eyes shone as he beamed at her across the carriage. He reached out to take her other hand, and Edwina’s heart seemed to beat at three times its normal rate. She had never felt closer to anyone in all her life.
And when he closed the distance between them and leaned in to kiss her, she felt as if she had been waiting forever for this moment to arrive.
CHAPTER 38
“Edwina, keep your hands still.” Her mother reached over and rested a hand on top of Edwina’s, which were gripping at one another and at her skirts in her lap. “You look like a bird about to take wing. What will the Dowager Duchess think?”
“She already likes Edwina, Mother,” Matthew said easily, picking up a biscuit.
“Matthew, for heaven’s sake, put that down. The biscuits are here for our guest, and she will be arriving any minute. I don’t have time to have more brought out because you ate them all.”
“I was going to eatone,” Matthew laughed, returning the biscuit to the tray. “The Dowager Duchess would never have noticed one solitary missing biscuit, Mother.”
As he said the words, a footman appeared at the door. Edwina’s mother leaped to her feet. “Oh, goodness,” she said. “She’s here. Matthew, sit down at once. Edwina, are you ready?”
Edwina didn’t feel ready at all, truth be told. She had never expected a moment like this to be a part of her life. She had never thought she would care about impressing a gentleman’s mother. She had seen her own sister go through it, and at the time, it had amused her—why should Lavinia invest so much energy in winning someone else’s approval? Why did sheneedanyone else’s approval? Edwina had been certain at the time that she herself would never be in such a position.
And now here she was, anxious and eager to get the Dowager Duchess to like her, feeling as if it was the most important thing she could possibly do. If she failed, she would be ruining her prospects at marriage to the Duke—and she suddenly found herself filled with a desire to marry him, something she never could have imagined wanting. After their encounter in the carriage, she felt as though her very soul would be crushed if she could not have him.
“It’s all right,” Matthew whispered to her as their mother went to the door to welcome the Dowager Duchess. “I know you’ll do well, Edwina.”
Edwina nodded. She sat up straighter and forced herself to still her hands, though it was difficult to do so. She had never felt so nervous about anything in all her life. She had never been so conscious of the stakes before.
Her mother returned to the room with the Dowager Duchess beside her. The Dowager was an imposing lady. Edwina had seen her before, but they had never spoken, and she had to wonder what the Dowager made of this sudden engagement, knowing that it wasn’t something any of them had anticipated. What would she think had been behind it all?
The Dowager settled herself in a chair opposite Edwina and fixed her with a stern gaze.
Edwina felt a shiver run down her spine, but she forced herself to remain calm. She permitted herself a quick glance over at Matthew, who gave her a nod of encouragement as if to let her know that he had faith in her, that he knew she could do this. Edwina wished she felt as certain.
But she was certain of one thing—her feelings for the Duke.
No—forAllan. He had told her, after their kiss in the carriage, that she ought to drop the title and begin to call him by his name since they were going to be married. It was quite an adjustment, convincing herself that that was the right thing to do, but it was exhilarating, too. And it reminded her of the fact that she was going to be a duchess—hisduchess. There was no reason to tremble at the thought of using his name now that they were going to be linked together for the rest of their days.
“So,” the Dowager said, “you are the young lady who has so captivated my grandson.”
“You honor me, Your Grace,” Edwina replied. “He is the one who’s captivated me.”
“I don’t doubt that. Yours is quite an ambitious family, isn’t it? First your sister married a duke, and now, you are engaged to one. It must be a very exciting time for this household.”
