But Seth was right. She had also asked him whether he loved her. And why would she ask that question unless there was an answer she was hoping to receive?
There must be a reason. And he resolved to find out what it was.
Having reached that conclusion, he thought he might be able to sleep. He returned to his bed, lay down, and extinguished his lantern—but his thoughts continued to plague him through the night, and when he finally arose as the sun was coming over the horizon and through his window, he was no nearer to understanding what the coming day would bring.
He went down to breakfast early, knowing that he was likely to be one of the first there. He would have liked to wait, to go down only after he could feel confident that he would find Lady Edwina in the dining room, but he was simply too anxious to wait.
There were only a couple of people in the dining room at this hour, and after a moment, Allan realized that one of them was Lady Edwina’s sister. The Duchess looked pale and drawn, as if she hadn’t slept at all last night either. Frowning, Allan went over and took the seat next to her.
“Good morning, Your Grace,” he said.
She looked at him. Immediately, tears spilled from her eyes.
Allan was aghast. “Have I said something wrong? What on Earth is the matter?”
“It isn’t that,” the Duchess said. “But you were one of the last to speak to her—Seth told me. Oh…” She buried her face in her napkin.
Allan’s heart sank. This couldn’t mean anything good. “Who was I the last to speak to?” he asked, knowing the answer already.
“My sister,” the Duchess said.
“Has something happened to her?”
“She’s fine. But she’s left us. She’s traveling to the country this morning. Oh, how I hoped this wouldn’t happen! I always knew it was a risk if she decided to remain a spinster. I always knew that I might lose her this way. But I hoped she would change her mind. I thought Lord Kentrow…”
She shook her head, clearly unable to continue her thoughts.
“You thought that she would marry Lord Kentrow.” Allan felt empty inside. The Duchess might as well have said explicitly that Lady Edwina had left because of his involvement, that if it weren’t for him, she would have seen fit to marry the gentleman who had asked her.
He hadn’t asked her.
And she…
Had she wanted him to?
She had told him that she meant to leave. Had that, perhaps, been his chance to try to stop her from going? Was the Duchess right to blame him for the fact that he hadn’t prevented her from doing so?
But no—that couldn’t be right, Allan reasoned, because he had tried, hadn’t he? He had told her that he wanted her to stay, and that had to count for something, didn’t it? He had all but begged her not to go.
It was true that he hadn’t been able to offer her a confession of love, but that couldn’t be what she had needed at that moment. They had been in agreement all the while that there was no future between the two of them. She, in fact, had insisted repeatedly that she wouldneverdevelop feelings for him. And when he had asked her to stay, her response had been—once again—to tell him to leave her alone.
Was he supposed to assume that he knew better than her words? That what she was saying wasn’t true, and that there was some hidden meaning that he had deciphered against her intentions?
It would have been the height of arrogance to think so. Hehadto believe the things she told him. What else could he do?
“She told you about Lord Kentrow, then?” the Duchess asked.
“She did,” Allan admitted.
“And did she tell you why she rejected him?”
“No. Not as such. I supposed that it was the same reason she rejects all her suitors. She has told me countless times that she doesn’t wish to marry. It would have been much more of a surprise to hear that she had accepted a proposal than it was to learn she had rejected one.”
“I suppose so,” the Duchess agreed with a sigh. “But I did hope this time might be different. He was so kind to her. You know, the real reason she rejects all those gentlemen is that she’s afraid.”
“Afraid!” Allan shook his head. “That doesn’t sound right. Begging your pardon, Your Grace, but I’ve never met anyone less fearful in all my life.”
“Well, perhaps fear is the wrong word for it,” the Duchess allowed. “But she feels that men will invariably be selfish and cruel. During her debut season, she was preyed upon by a rake?—”
