But what if Lavinia said otherwise?
She might report that what Edwina was feeling was the very thing she herself had felt when she had fallen in love with her husband.
Edwina couldn’t be in love. She simply couldn’t.
If there was a chance that that would be the answer, it was an answer she didn’t want to learn.
“I’m all right,” she told her sister. “Truly. I’ve gotten caught up in the fun of gossiping about the Duke, nothing more. I should stop. It’s unbecoming of me.”
Lavinia gave her a measured look, and Edwina couldn’t be sure whether her sister had believed her.
But if she hadn’t, she decided to let it go. “All right,” she said. “Enjoy your rest, then, Edwina, and I’ll see you in a few hours when you join us for dinner.”
CHAPTER 24
The last thing Edwina wanted after the conversation with her sister was to go down to dinner. Instead, she wanted to stay in her room and consider her feelings about the Duke of Harbeck.
It felt as though those feelings were something that could be dispensed with if only they were pondered long enough, like a knot in her hair that would give way to enough brushing. If she gave enough attention to the problem, it would disappear under her efforts. It felt as if it had to.
But that didn’t seem to be happening, and eventually, she was forced to accept the fact that this wasn’t going to be resolved easily. Certainly, it wasn’t going to be resolved tonight. She had no choice but to put her feelings aside and go down to dinner—she would be better off dealing with this later.
Everyone was already gathering in the dining room when Edwina arrived. A seat had been reserved for her beside herbrother, and she noticed that Lord Kentrow had been installed in the seat on her other side. Her feelings about that were mixed. She didn’t mind sitting beside him. She had meant it when she’d said that he was good company. But she was also very aware, now, that everyone around her perceived their interactions as leading toward courtship or even marriage. That wasn’t her intent, so did she have some sort of obligation to put a distance between the two of them?
She didn’t feel as if she was deceiving Lord Kentrow or leading him on. He smiled at her as she sat down, and she thought how easy it was to be around him. If only they could simply be friends with one another and not have to worry about love or courtship.
Perhaps they could. He had never given her any reason to believe that he would try to push things farther than what she was comfortable with.
She leaned over to him. “Good evening,” she said.
He beamed at her attention. “Lady Edwina, it’s always such a pleasure to see you.”
“I didn’t know whether you would be attending this party,” she said.
“If there was a chance to spend time with you, I’d never miss it.”
“No, of course you wouldn’t.” She smiled teasingly at him, but then she became serious. “In truth, I’m very glad you’re here,” she said. “I always find you so easy to talk to.”
“You flatter me.”
“Not at all. You’re simply a very calming presence, My Lord. I’m happy to spend time with you.”
“Then I have much to look forward to this week,” Lord Kentrow said with a smile.
Edwina was about to answer, but she was distracted by an all-too-familiar sight—the Duke of Harbeck had just appeared, and now, he took a seat directly across the table from her.
Had he done that on purpose? Was he sitting there out of a desire to look at her or to make her look at him? If that was the case, he was going to be disappointed. She was determined not to give him what he wanted from her.
She kept her eyes firmly on Lord Kentrow as he began to share a story, nodding and smiling at everything he said. The truth was that she wasn’t even following his words. She had no attention to spare for him. All she could do was track the Duke out of the corner of her eye. He had made it very clear that he didn’t like her paying attention to Lord Kentrow—though why he should feel that way, Edwina still didn’t understand—so she was glad that he was being forced to watch her speaking with Lord Kentrow now. Let him see that she had moved on from him. Shehad never cared about him in the first place. Let him think on that.
“What do you think, Lady Edwina?” Lord Kentrow said.
Edwina was jerked back to attention. “I’m sorry,” she said, aware that she had made a fool of herself by failing to follow the conversation. “I’m afraid I missed the question—would you repeat it?”
Lord Kentrow smiled, unperturbed as he always was. Edwina had never known him to be bothered by anything, and for the first time, she felt rather ashamed of the way she was acting toward him. What if hedidthink this was heading toward a proposal? What if he believed he might be able to marry her?
If he believes that, it’s his own fault. Haven’t I been as clear as glass, letting everyone know that I am unattainable? How could anyone still believe otherwise?
“It’s no trouble at all,” Lord Kentrow said mildly. “I was merely asking you whether you might be interested in a promenade during the coming days? If the weather continues to be fine, it might be pleasant to go into town.”
