“I don’t know,” Matthew admitted. “But you’ve seemed different since your time with him began. I can’t help but feel that he has something to do with it, even if it’s not the case that you’ve actually come to care for him.”
“Well, you know I haven’t come to care for him,” Edwina snapped. “You know that better than anyone, Matthew—you’re the one who’s always reminding me how little he merits such a thing.”
“That’s true, and yet you’d hardly be the first young lady to be taken in. I’m sure you’re much too clever to fall for his charms,Edwina, but if hehadmanaged to charm you, you could say something to me about it. I would deal with him.”
Of course, she couldn’t say anything to her brother—not when he put it like that. It would be as bad as coming out and admitting that she wasn’t as clever as he thought her, and she couldn’t let him see that. She took such pride in Matthew’s good opinion of her.
“I suppose I found him a challenge, that’s all,” she explained. “He’s quite the wit. I dislike him, but he was a fascinating conversationalist.”
“He certainly is that,” Matthew agreed. “And I’m sure he appreciated the same quality in you. I’m glad the two of you were able to spend time getting to know one another, then—and I’m glad, too, that you both had the sense to bring things to an end when you sensed it could go no further.”
Edwina nodded, wondering why she suddenly felt near to tears.
The truth was that, in spite of everything, she missed him. She knew he would be here this week and that she would have no choice but to avoid him—but a part of her wanted just the opposite. Stolen moments, stolen glances, perhaps even another kiss…
But she would have none of it. Those days were behind her.
It was time to forget about the Duke of Harbeck.
CHAPTER 23
After the arrival of only a few guests, Edwina decided to retire to her bedroom, feeling exhausted by the conversation she’d had with her brother and sister. There had been nothing unkind in it, she knew—they had been teasing her at the very worst. She wished it hadn’t made her feel so bad, for the fact that shedidfeel bad made her think herself silly.
But she couldn’t help it. They had put thoughts of the Duke in her mind, thoughts she had been doing her best to avoid for the past several days. Thinking about him was painful, and she didn’t want to do it, but at times like these, it couldn’t be avoided. After all, he was on his way here, and they would be living under the same roof for the duration of the party.
What a dreadful thing to be forced to share quarters with someone you so entirely wished to avoid! Edwina wished more than anything that she could simply go home and avoid seeing him altogether, but she could never have done that to her sister.She knew how much this party meant to Lavinia. She wouldn’t have dreamed of sitting it out.
What she didn’t expect, though, was to find Lavinia sitting on her bed and waiting for her.
“I saw you sneak away,” Lavinia explained. “I guessed that you were coming up here.”
Edwina nodded. “I thought I would rest for a little while before dinner,” she said. “And I’d like to change into the new satin gown I brought for the occasion. It really is lovely.”
“I’m sure everyone will admire it,” Lavinia said. “But Edwina, I think you and I ought to have a conversation.”
“About what?”
“The Duke of Harbeck.”
“Him again? What fascinates you so about the Duke that you can’t let the subject rest, Lavinia?”
“It’s nothing to do with what fascinatesme,” Lavinia said. “But you’re my sister, Edwina. I know you well. I always have. And I can see that your feelings about the Duke are more complicated than you want to let on. I want you to tell me what’s going on. Was he unkind to you?”
“Oh, certainly,” Edwina said dryly. “Didn’t you know? From the very first moment we began to associate with one another, he pledged to me that he would charm me against my will—all while making sure I knew that no matter how I might come to feel about him, he would never marry me. Not that I want to marry him! But there’s only so much arrogance a lady can tolerate.”
“And that’s why you’ve decided not to see him anymore.”
“Essentially.” It was all she was able to admit to without speaking about the kiss.
“I suppose that makes sense,” Lavinia agreed. “Though it does surprise me to see you so affected.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, what could he truly do to you? It isn’t as though he could actually charm you in the way you’re describing—you seem to have all sorts of defenses in place against him. Just as you always have with every gentleman who’s tried his luck with you. Isn’t that so?”
“Of course, it is,” Edwina said, feeling oddly upset. Her sister hadn’t said anything unkind. She had merely named something that was true—Edwinawascareful to defend herself against the possibility of developing feelings for any gentleman who might try his luck with her. She had always been cautious about that, and Lavinia was correct in her assessment.
So why did she feel as if something hurtful had been said?
