“I am aware what this is. I know we will not have a marriage that is based on anything other than the desire to keep your father from having to bear the results of our actions. Of my actions, for I am chiefly at fault.”
She was about to say something in protest but he stopped her.
“To put your mind at ease, let me assure you that I am under no illusion that we might have an heir. When I die, the line shall die with me and the land pass to my cousin in Scotland. The title shall revert to the crown. It is perhaps for the best that there be no further Earl of Carlton.”
“Good. And since we are speaking of the practicalities of this arrangement, I would much prefer not to live at Carlton Manor. It is a damp place that gives me melancholy whenever I am near it.”
He looked at her, unsure of what to say. He had not thought of what their living arrangements would be. He swallowed.
“I suppose we must live together in order for the marriage to appear believable. Alas, that means living with me.”
“I see.” She nodded and looked down, shrugging in resignation. His heart broke when he thought of what their future would be. To think that the thought of marrying him caused her such upset hurt him to his very soul.
How much I wanted to marry her when we were children. How often I dreamt of it. And how broken I was when I realized I could never be with her, not truly. And yet despite it all, I am to marry her. Though it is no cause for celebration for either of us. No. Indeed, it is a nightmare.
He did not know how he would be able to live at her side, knowing that he loved her but could never tell her. And knowing that she was agreeing only because she had no options left. A thought came to him then.
“It is well known that I spend much time in London and that you greatly dislike the city. Thus, nobody would be surprised if we underwent lengthy periods of separation.”
“You intend to leave and stay in London?”
“I will for as much as I can. I may buy a house there once I have a steward to look after Carlton Manor. Nobody will bat an eyelid at my spending time in London on business. Many noblemen do. Of course, while I am away you may live here, at your father’s home.”
She sneered at him. “I may? With my husband’s permission?”
He pressed his lips together and sighed. There was no penetrating the fortress of hurt and anger which surrounded her.
“You know well what I mean. There is nothing else I can do for you but promise you to be away as much as possible and to give you as much freedom as you wish to have. Beyond that I make no promises. It is up to you now to agree or decline.”
She swayed her head gently back and forth as though she had to think on the matter still. However, he knew her well enough to know that she already had the answer. She always did. She always knew what she wanted and what was right, but she was not an impulsive woman, not like him. She thought, considered, and contemplated.
“Where are we to marry?” she asked at last.
“In Banbury. I have already made arrangements.”
He expected a cutting comment about his hastiness, but there was none. If anything, she seemed relieved that everything was already prepared.
“Very well. We shall be married.”
The words were like a punch into his stomach, not like the sweet tonic of relief he’d always hoped it would feel like. They were business partners, not lovers—and they’d never be anything else.
“Very well, then. Meet me at Carlton Manor before the sun rises so you will not be seen. I will drive us in a carriage, just us. Nobody else. We will tell nobody until it is done.”
She gave him a curt nod but then her eyes widened. “There is one person we must tell. Bridget. I cannot marry without telling her, for she will be so very deeply hurt if she heard about it after the fact. We must stop at her home so I may tell her.”
He shook his head. “I do not know that we should. Besides, it will be very early. We will wake the entire house if we call on them on the way.”
Penelope shook her head, a slight smile on her face now. “There is no need. Bridget rises before the sun to tend to the animals. Her father looks down on her desire to assist the servants in the task, but she loves to do it. That early in the morning I venture to say we will find her in the stable, cleaning boxes and feeding her horses.”
For a moment, Daniel found himself touched at her compassion for her friend. And yet a moment later, a sense of doom overcame him. Would her friendship with Bridget suffer under the strain of her marrying him? He shook his head. There was no point in pondering such questions as they would change nothing at all about what needed to be done.
“Very well then, we will leave tomorrow before dawn and stop at the Hughes’ estate as you wish.”
“Thank you,” she said without looking at him. After a few painfully long moments filled with silence he gave her a curt nod.
“Right. I shall see you in the morrow.” He turned without looking back and hastened away, motioning for the horse to be brought back to him. The moment he was back atop his horse, he raced through the garden, not bothering with riding along the proper path. He needed to get away.
If he could have, he would have kept on riding until the horse could carry him no more. However, he knew he could not. He was bound by duty now. And not just for today, but for the rest of his life. As thunder rumbled somewhere behind him, he pressed on toward Carlton Manor, his home, which would be empty and cold as it always was, especially now that Alistair was back in London for a while.
