“You are wonderful with children, it seems. You always had a way of drawing people out.” Penelope said as they returned to the path and entered the edge of town.
He shrugged at this. “I suppose they can sense a kindred spirit in me. Someone who knows fear and hesitation well.”
“You have a gift when talking with children,” his friend chimed in. He turned to Penelope. “You ought to see him with my little siblings. They adore him, absolutely adore him. Me, they couldn’t care less about!”
“Because you always ring a fine peel over them! You ought to yell at them less, perhaps they might like you better.”
Mr. Mavis laughed but just a moment later, appeared distracted.
“Well, if this is not a sight for sore eyes! How about we pop in here for a glass of country ale?” He stopped and looked to the left as Daniel groaned.
“Of course your keen eye will find the only tavern in town. And at such an early hour.”
Alistair stemmed his hands on his hips as though he were outraged. “Are you calling me a drunk, My Lord? Might I remind you that you are my most frequent partner in partaking of the drink?”
Daniel raised a hand as if to placate his friend, but grinned. “Thou protests too much, old chum. All jesting aside, Alistair, I would rather not and I doubt Penny is one for ale anyhow. Are you?”
He turned to her and she shook her head. “I never did develop a taste for it, as you did. However, The Rover is a lovely tavern. They serve a scrumptious Bedfordshire banger and shepherd’s pie, if you feel peckish. Alas, I would rather not join.”
“Very well, then. I will visit on my own and leave the two of you to your charitable quest.” He was about to set off when something seemed to occur to him. “After you return from your venture to the village, perhaps we could call on Miss Hughes? If I remember the area correctly, then her father’s estate is just a short walk from here, in the other direction.”
Penelope nodded at this. “Indeed, instead of turning right at the Ralston farm one would turn left. Bridget lives a ten-minute walk from there.”
“Splendid!” He declared. “Let us call on her. I cannot wait to view the estate and the clock tower. And I know Daniel here is eager to be reunited with the young lady.” He boxed Daniel playfully in the arm and he smiled. It was the kind of smile that didn’t strike Penelope as genuine at all, the kind he’d developed as a child to appeal to their governess’s constant call to “Cheer up” and “Wipe that frown from your handsome face, lad”.
She chided herself, for it rekindled hope in her heart that she was wrong about his desire to marry her.
Stop it, Penelope. You are setting yourself up for more pain. He wishes to wed her and I will help him achieve it. Nothing more. Nothing less.
As Alistair made his way toward the Rover tavern, Penelope found herself alone with Daniel for the very first time since his return. And for the very first time in years.
For a moment, they stood across from one another and said nothing. The silence between them was awkward and heavy and she could hardly stand it. Clearing her throat, she gave a nod.
“Right then, let us go further into the village. I have another five loaves to deliver. The widow Markham lives just down the road and she is always in need of charity.”
She was about to turn when she realized he was standing still. Indeed, he’d not moved a muscle yet. Frowning, she turned back.
“Are you coming? Or have you changed your mind?”
He shook his head, a serious expression on his face. He rubbed his lips together, his shoulder dropped. “I am. But I realize I’ve not had a chance to address you at all. Alone, I mean. There has been someone with us at all times.” He paused and swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple bopping visibly.
“Daniel…”
“No, Penny. I… I just wanted to tell you how much I regret the years that have gone by between us without contact. You were my dearest friend and I abandoned you.”
She did not know what to say. She’d wanted an apology, an explanation, when he first arrived. But now? In light of his obvious feelings for Bridget she did not know it mattered what he had to say. Their lots had already been cast. Alas, he seemed determined to continue.
“There were reasons why I did not write nor call on you. Reasons I cannot explain to you now, for they no longer matter. But know you never left my thoughts. You were always…”
Do not say ‘in my heart’. Please do not. For if you do, I know my resolve to keep my distance will break. The thin wall behind which I have enclosed my feelings will shatter.
“…my dearest friend. My sister in all but blood. I should not have abandoned you. I am sorry.”
Sister.
The word cut her deep, as it made it clear that he never thought of her as anything other than that. The words he’d spoken that night long ago, promising to marry her, had been said out of calf-love. Nothing but the words of an immature young man who did not know the meaning of love.
Her fingers wanted to curl into fists, her mouth wanted to tear into him and to let him know that she never thought of him as a brother and that he’d broken her with his behavior, but what good would it do? So, instead, she held her head high and faced him.
