And unfortunately, I didn’t pay attention as I should because I received quite the shock when I tried to touch him and found something too massive.
Way too massive given how small I was. I’d experienced so much pain from men and none were Creed’s size.
Which made me a horrible idiot for never having considered that all of his anatomy would be that large. I almost burst out into tears but Creed was… Creed.
“That’s why I said we couldn’t just jump into sex anyways, Aurora,” he whispered as he kissed my closed eyes. “I promise you that it will be fine. I know it will be.”
What he said hit me hard and I pushed at his chest until he moved away. He flinched when he saw the anger in my eyes.
“Yes, you have so much knowledge from all those other women you’ve bedded. I understand.” I huffed when he simplysmiledat me.
Bastard.
“Wait, wait,” he begged when I hurried to cover up and get out bed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you jealous, but—you are only jealous because you see me as a man, Aurora. Aloverand when you didn’t before, so that’s…”
I sighed and stopped fleeing, understanding where his head was. It was valid even.
More than valid given how horribly I’d acted before with hoping he was gay so I could have all of the benefits of being in his life without dealing with his needs. It was overly selfish for sure.
“Fine, I understand, and apparently I am a jealous, petty person,” I grumbled. “But that doesn’t change the fact that your anatomy will never fit inside ofminewithout too much pain, Creed.” I hated when my eyes burned with tears.
“It will,” he whispered as he hugged me to him. “I—we’ll make it work, Aurora. If we can get past what we have and the miracle of finding such a good partnership, we will get past this.” He kissed my shoulder. “Or we’ll never have sex again after mating. We will just stay here. I swear it. If you hate having sex or it hurts, then this is all we’ll do.”
“That’s not enough for you.”
“Itis. It is when it’s you. I swear it. I’m so ridiculously happy with our life together already. I want everything with you, and if that means everything but that type of sex—so be it. The rest is beyond perfect, and I know you’ll still take care of me with your hand.”
Or mouth. I could practically hear the rest of that.
But I didn’t know if I could do that either after all I’d been through.
He whispered sweetly in my ear until I calmed down. I apologized for throwing a fit and tried to believe him.
That night he showed me how good the next step was. Even if it was just his fingers, it was nothing like how I’d been touched before. It was terrifying to be penetrated by even fingers, but… It was Creed.
It was something new to experience and share with him.
And that was what I kept hanging onto as I plowed forward so he could have what he needed so he could be safe.
18
Creed
I was beyond thrilled with the way things were going with Aurora and not because it was selfish. Yes, I wanted more with her.
Yes, I needed her to be ready so we could mate and I could be helped.
But it was so much more than that. She was getting to know herself and finally feeling whole with all of the help she was getting. The support.
And maybe even what was happening between us was helping. No, I didn’t think oral sex just solved everything. I wasn’t that big of a dipshit as a man.
It was hard to explain. People who had been through too much understood how much else was helped when they found someone good and treated them the way they deserved to be treated. That was beyond important.
It really was.
There was just one thing I needed as a man before we could take that last step.
And it probably made me a petty man. I could even accept that.
