I kept his gaze. “If I had said it, you wouldn’t have hit me. It’s him, and apparently his feelings for me that are unprofessional. You knew, yes?”
“Yeah, we all knew,” he drawled.
“I wish someone had told me. I wouldn’t have wanted someone conflicted guarding me,” I grumbled.
“I said the same, but Ellie said it wasn’t fair to hold that against him when all men responded to you like that.” He nodded when I pressed my lips together. That was horribly dismissive, and I was certain there were female bodyguards.
I was a survivor of abuse. The waters should never be murky.
“I think we should call one of those Burbers,” I told him.
“Ubers, and I think it’s adorable you never get it correct,” he said with a chuckle as he took out his phone.
“I get most of it all correct,” I countered. “There’s just a lot, and seeing it all in the news or on TV is different than interacting with them or keeping them straight.”
“Yeah, I feel that,” he drawled, having been in prison when a lot of them came about.
Xavier backed down but made it obvious that he didn’t think any of it was fair and that he deserved to be treated better than what I was doing. He made it clear that he was still in charge of guarding me, so he wasn’t stalking me or being too much, but doing his job. He would follow the Uber to my condo and then drive to Ellie to discuss what was next with her.
It better be the termination of his position or… I wasn’t sure what, but I was at my limit with too much.
Even if I believe Ellie’s heart was truly in the right place after she’d learned more about the past. Theresa too. Or that was more a thawing regarding anything concerning me.
But they both treated me too much like a child or an invalid at times and it was upsetting, not healthy for my recovery even according to my psychiatrist. I agreed.
“We should talk about the money,” Creed muttered once we were at my condo.
“What about work? Did you rush right over?” I worried.
“It’s fine. I can—my manager’s been letting me work more some days in case—he knows things are crazy. Plus, I’ve been training—it’s time to make some hard choices, but I don’t want to commit to anything with this…”
I reached out and took his hand, giving him a comforting squeeze to show support but feeling it was lacking. I cleared my throat and gave a tug on his arm when we were in the elevator and he took the hint, leaning down and letting me kiss his cheek.
“Thanks.”
“Have you come to any decisions?” I asked.
“The decision isn’t mine, Aurora,” he sighed.
I went to drop his hand, but he only tightened his grip. “I believe the matter on the table takes two people to agree and you were firmly against it when it was first brought up.”
“Yeah, I was an ass in shock,” he mumbled and raised our joined hands to his lips, kissing my skin. “I’m sorry.”
“You’ve already apologized. There was nothing to forgive,” I told him firmly. “But you have to—there has to be a discussion if your feelings havechanged, Creed.”
“Have yours?”
I sighed as he let go of my hand so I could unlock the door as we stepped off the elevator. “I’m going to sound like a child, but I asked you first.”
His deep chuckle followed after me. “Yeah, but you did.” He sighed again. “It’s too soon for us to mate. The idea is fucking bonkers to me.” He moved closer when I stuck the key in the lock. “But the idea of mating anyone else makes me fucking pissed off and my lion goes ballistic. It’s you or no one. I know that.”
“I don’t want you to die,” I rasped.
“I don’t want to die.” He moved his hand over mine and unlocked the door, letting us in. “But I also can’t trap you after you’ve been in one prison or another your whole life, beauty. I’d be a monster a whole other sort of way.”
I turned to face him as I locked the door. “Put all of that aside. Your guilt, the insanity of mating so soon—all of the logistics, and tell me if this is what you want of the available options.”
He took in a long slow breath as his chestnut brown eyes bore into my soul. “I want you as mine, Aurora. I want us to pick a different last name as ours and start our lives over—heal each other however the fuck this might work and figure it all out in a way that doesn’t break us more than we’re already fucking broken. I just don’t knowhowand I’m scared shitless.”
