“You want an exit strategy because it’s so fast and given your past.”
“Is that horrible of me?” I worried.
“No, and I don’t think Creed will feel that it is either,” she told me firmly. “I’m also going to insist I be there when you lay this all out with the others in your life because there are—”
We both jumped as the door burst open, Xavier standing there looking different in a way I’d never seen him.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, pushing to my feet and thinking there was danger.
“Don’t do this, Aurora. Don’t be with him. Don’t give yourself to that nothing feline who hurt people like you andso many more,” he begged. “You deserve so much better and someone—”
“This ishighlyinappropriate given your place in her life,” my doctor cut in. “You’ve had months to be honest about your feelings for her and yet you were quiet and too scared to act. But now that she’s made the decision herself, you have something to say? No, you don’t care for her in a healthy way if you’re about to undermine all she’s worked on—”
“You only know part of it, Doc,” he argued.
“Well, I’m saying that I’m uncomfortable with whatever is going on here, and I think you need to stop being the one to protect me,” I said firmly. “Thank you for what you’ve done, especially stopping me that day, but…” I shook my head. I didn’t even know how to handle this.
He bobbed his head and shot me a hurt look. “I agree with the doc that this isn’t the time nor place and I’m undermining your hard work, but I also think I deserve something better than you being so dismissive. So I’ll wait until you’re done in here and we can talk.”
And be alone.
Something in the way he said it set offallof the warning bells even if I didn’t think that was fair to Xavier. I wanted to always feel safe, and everyone in my life had repeatedly told me that it should be a priority to me even if it was overkill or false alarms.
Which was why I pulled out my phone and texted Ellie, Theresa, Alexis, and Creed the moment Xavier stepped outside.
“You should warn people and ask for help,” my doctor said firmly.
“However?” I hedged.
“No ‘however,’” she assured me. “Always pull the emergency brake. It’s better to do that and apologize for being wrong than being wrong and not listening to yourself. Always.”
“Thank you.” I thought of how to phrase what I wanted to ask then. “How would you handle it differently?”
She nodded, accepting what I was getting at. “He’s seeing your relationship as more personal and you’re just cutting the cord without a conversation. It wasn’t a threat or to get you alone. He wants to at least say goodbye and have you hear him out. He doesn’t deserve to just be ghosted is where his mind is.”
I opened my mouth but then closed it. “I understand him thwarting my attempted suicide was more personal for him, but he counted those minutes on his timesheet to be paid. That’s not a friend.”
“You are completely valid in your feelings, so I would tell him that and it’s a valid line for you,” she told me. “Now, let’s start on this roadmap of your future because I don’t want any man to derail your progress.”
I smiled at her, thinking that was exactly what I needed to hear.
We worked on it the rest of our session and I felt confident in the outline to start. I focused on that and decided I wanted to go over it with Creed before talking to the others… Only to find him outside in a heated argument with Xavier.
I didn’t hear what was said, but Creed threw the first punch.
“This is who he is, Aurora,” Xavier said after blocking it. “This is why—”
“Meaning you egged him into it,” I interrupted. “He didn’t know I was here, but you did, ready to tattle and put this display on show.” I focused on Creed. “What did he say that made you go over the line? Because you were very firm that you don’t throw the punch first unless you knew it was going to come to blows.”
“No, this time it was me and I was—everything is too much a mess in my head and I was—my temper’s too short,” he admitted, taking a step back from Xavier and moving his hands to his hips. “He said I was only open to the idea of mating yousince you were awarded the money. That this is about money, not my feelings for you.”
I took in a slow breath and let it out. “I would have hit him for that too if I could do any damage.” That seemed to surprise them both, but I gave Xavier the look he deserved. “Do you truly think Ellie, Ha-joon, or Theresa would let him anywhere near me if it was about money? You knew that wasn’t true and said that to hurt him so he took a swing.”
“Yes—maybe—I’m not sure I don’t know it’s a lie,” he argued. “I knew it would make him take a swing. But he’s that easy to poke, and that’s too volatile to be around you—”
“He isdying, Xavier,” I snapped. “He gets to be volatile. What is your fucking excuse?”
Creed chuckled darkly. “Couldn’t have said it better myself, beauty.” He moved over by me and hesitated in greeting me. Once I moved my hand to his chest, he leaned in and kissed my cheek. “I’m still sorry I blew my temper. He’s not wrong that you deserve better.”
