“Thanks.”
“Always.” I wasn’t sure if that was true, but right then it was what I would want to hear. I called the headmaster and was shocked when he said to meet at his office because it was the only place he knew was absolutely clean. He even had me bring him with to go get her since her guard couldn’t circle onto campus or into his office.
And Bevin seemed to understand what he wanted. “Conrad Hanson said it’s the worst-kept secret that anyone who graduated from Morrigan caneasilysneak back in and circle through the wards. My first thought was that it’s a former student who was behind the werewolf attack then and something seriously needs to be done about thatgapingsecurity issue.”
Andy studied her and I realized he wanted to intercept her because he thought she would rat on this.
I had a severely different reaction. “Is this true and you knew it?”
He did a double take but then sighed. “Right, you graduated but were always affiliated here, so you wouldn’t know.” He sighed and scrubbed his hand over his head. “Yes, I knew. It’s true of any of the schools.” He sighed again when I growled.“Magic is fickle and about intent, Derek. The wards are set up for those who were accepted and—”
“Asked to leave which is different than graduating so any kicked out which is known and has been tested,” Emma muttered, swearing under her breath when Andy nodded. “There has to be a way to do it better.”
“Yes, undoubtedly, but areyouvolunteering the magic to fix it? The new barrier formation that would protect everything else we know works with the current ones?” Andy threw right back. “It’s not a simple answer, and it is one every headmaster has tried to quietly fix or figure out for years and years, but it’s not our only damn problem.”
“Okay, okay, well, at least you know and I’ve done my due diligence,” Bevin cut in looking ready to break. “But you don’t want me to tell the council or make a big deal about it.”
“No, and I will personally ward your room, and as headmaster no one can overrule my magic on campus. Not even a former headmaster. I should have already done it. It was stupid not to—” He let out a slow breath and looked torn up. “I’m sorry, Ms. Millen. All my years being an educator and never has a student suffered as much as you have, much less in one year.”
She gave him a sad smile. “Thank you, but I found out part of it is my fate, not your fault. I would appreciate the better protection.”
“I don’t understand what that means,” he hedged, glancing between us.
But I was just as clueless.
One of his admins arrived with the food I’d ordered for us knowing she’d not even had lunch and it was hours later. It was funny kicking Andy out of his own office when he still had questions, but we really did need to talk.
“You remembered,” she whispered after I set everything out and told her what I’d ordered.
I glanced up at her since I’d already sat. “Pardon?”
She cleared her throat and plopped down on the chair across from me. “You remembered what sandwich I liked and with the correct modifications. I didn’t expect that.”
Wow, I really had been an overbearing asshole and made too many mistakes if she was surprised by something so… Basic. She’d been so happy when we’d tried this place, doing her cute little wiggles as she ate and talking about what she’d add or change to make it perfect.
“You made it sound so good I ordered one too,” I admitted. I didn’t want to push, but she seemed nervous, so I decided to not leave it alone. “But yes, I noticed and paid attention to a lot even as I missed and got a lot wrong. It was never about not caring, Bevin. I was ill-equipped for our situation. I’m sorry.”
She flinched which made me frown.
“What did I say wrong?”
“No, nothing,” she mumbled and opened her sandwich. “I just feel selfish for coming to you now. You took everything so hard and it seemed to throw salt on the demons you already struggled with and…”
“I fucked up. I should take that hard, and you of all people don’t make excuses for your past,” I said when she didn’t seem to know how to continue. “It’s not your fault I have a shitty past and I let it leak onto us—onto you. You apologize for that.”
She was quiet as she took a bite and chewed. “Thank you. For saying that. I never feel like I handle it right, but if you see that—I feel seen. Thank you.”
“Good, I’m glad.” I thought right then she needed to hear the praise more than ever. “You try so much harder than most anyone I’ve ever met, Bevin. Really, you do, and it’s admirable. It’s inspiring even as it’s hard to watch as someone who cares about you.”
She frowned. “I don’t understand that.”
I was about to say something snarky being my default jackass self, but then I realized she was serious. I waited until she took another bite and looked at me.
“I still have nightmares—wake in the middle of the night covered in sweat terrified with the images of you riding offtowardswerewolves, Bevin. I was ready to shit myself defending students and helping as a teacher and you’re afreshmanwho fought the beasts on your own and went formore.
“You do not give yourself enough fucking credit. You’re a hero and I’m furious most days how that’s been glossed over and buried because we’re worried about people realizing how special you are. You amaze and terrify me because you’ll do things like jump on Loki’s back and race off into danger. That’s what I mean.”
She stared at me for a full minute like she’d never seen me before, lost in shock and her thoughts. Bevin cleared her throat and focused back on her food and took several bites that were too big.
