She was so fucking adorable it was ridiculous. I really was a goner and hers.
“Fuck it,” she whispered after a few more minutes. “I don’t know how to do this without being blunt and maybe—you can say no. This is too much, but—maybe this is the conversation we should have just sat down and had in the beginning instead of all of the games and dancing around each other.”
“But we couldn’t have because we didn’t trust each other.”
“I’m not sure we do for this conversation,” she sighed as she set down her sandwich. She winced at whatever was on my face—probably hurt—and hurried on. “No, things got more—I learned—I didn’t mean—”
“Just tell me, Bevin,” I said gently, giving her the pass she needed. “You’re under too much pressure and have beenthrough too much today. Just tell me and I’ll worry about my feelings and needs.”
She blinked back tears. “Thank you.”
“Can I tell you one good thing so maybe you don’t feel so…”
“Sure, I love good news,” she chuckled darkly as she wiped her hands and pulled out her phone.
“It was Gloria who alerted everyone.” I nodded when she did a double take. I told her how her friend Gloria, who had acted badly, had come to make amends and take her out to lunch and had overheard Conrad’s threats and Bevin crying. That Gloria had immediately come to me figuring out I could help and that she even agreed to lock the information in her mind to keep Bevin safe.
“That does help,” she rasped, covering her face. “I was so upset by what they did. It just—it’s never enough and it always hurts when I help. I don’t want that to be my life, but apparently I don’t have a choice and even more so now. It’s my fate more than being a goddess witch. I can’t handle it alone and the spirit said I can only tell my priest and to name one to be my shield.”
But she wasn’t ready to have one. She wasn’t ready to give that control over or trust me—have me act as a priest should.
“I have so many questions about what you just said, but you clearly have an idea of what you wanted to ask me.”
“I don’t actually,” she choked out. “It’s too hard. I’m too scared of the top-tier families and now the council and even how Link acted. Now there’s a spirit realm and I can only telloneperson or I’ll be punished? It’s too much, Wyatt. I thought—”
I reached over and took her other hand, startling her so she looked at me. I immediately let go but said what she wasn’t able to. “You want to know if I’ll act as your priest even if it’s not sexual.”
Tears fell from her eyes as her lower lip quivered. “Yes. I’m sorry, but yes.”
“I will,” I heard myself say, knowing I had to hate myself to some extent to agree to that. I was half in love with Bevin and this could crush me.
“It’s not fair to ask you. I can’t be that mean to you and things have been so awkward, but I don’t know who else to ask. The spirit said to ask you—to name you before another Conrad tried to name himself and stop having the carrot for greed to want.”
“I will do it for now, at least in name, until things stabilize or you find someone you would rather have in that place,” I told her, knowing I could—shoulddo at least this for how much I’d hurt her. “Let me, Bevin. You’re scaring me and asking. I want to help. Let me be your Tracey on this front of your situation.”
That was the right thing to say because she nodded, more tears falling and thanked me. She wanted a team for this part—an ally she could speak Bevin with and feel understood her.
And we had the potential to be that if I got the fuck out of my own way.
“Tell me what happened,” I begged when she calmed down a bit.
“I know what the key does,” she told me, nodding when I sputtered and almost knocked over my drink. “Yeah, I know, not the day for it, but really it is because it’s used as an escape for people like me and today I needed the escape. So—wait, let me see if the recording worked.”
She pulled up something on her phone and hit play, looking at me hopefully. I hated to disappoint her, but I sighed.
“I only hear you speaking. It’s like a soft white noise when you’re not,” I admitted.
“I was afraid of that.”
“It’s better that the answers you got from a spirit probably aren’t recorded,” I mumbled. “Smart of you to think of that. Not sure I could have in my panic.”
She shrugged. “I default to recording now. I have Conrad recorded too. I plan to use that to fuck up whatever plans the council will try to use to weasel out of this mess or him.” She worried her lower lip. “Someone has him in custody, right? He’s not going to announce I’m a goddess witch like he threatened?”
“Taylor immediately got him—cut off his fucking press conference announcing you were dating,” I said with disgust. “Made up some shit about a threat and locked him down with his people. Councilman Hanson isn’t thrilled, but the Reids, Moons, Oliverias, and a few others are clear that they vote for Conrad to be put in the ground.”
“Well, that’s something,” she sighed, but then the tears came back as she looked at me. She took in a slow breath and let it out. “Please don’t let him get me, Derek. He scares me more than Gregg.”
I’d longed for her to say my first name—hear it from her sweet lips but not like this. Gods above, not like this. I reached for her hand but froze when she yanked it out of reach.
