They got to the cabin and since her parents weren’t there yet, they decided to go for a swim. It was hot and they were both ready to cool off. Sarah was nervous about being in a bikini in front of him, but Harold took his shirt off and she was no longer worried about anything else. Her mind was on him and that hot body that she’d felt pressed up against her before.
Her tongue was caught in her throat, and she couldn’t breathe, think. She was just staring but didn’t realize it until he said something about her getting in after she got an eyeful. That made Sarah feel embarrassed to no end, and she tried to ignore him when she got in. Harold was a hard man to ignore, especially when the top half of his body was showing. He had on shorts but might as well as not have had anything on. She could see everything, so it wasn’t like there was much else to wonder about. She could see everything.
“Are you really going to avoid me this whole weekend?”
Sarah shrugged, because she really didn’t have an answer. She didn’t want to tell him why she was doing it; she didn’t want him to notice. It was hard for Sarah to navigate such emotions, especially when she had never felt that way about a man before. She had never thought that she would feel what other people and books liked to make people believe love felt like. Sarah thought it was all a lie, but now she was starting to see that it wasn’t a lie. She just hadn’t been there before. What she thought was love and desire, wasn’t. What she felt with Harold was something like what she’d read about in the storybooks, though real love had different feelings. It was more complicated, and Sarah was sure that there was something unreal about it all.
“I am not trying to avoid you. It will be pretty hard to do, don’t you think?”
“I see from the outside of the cabin that we’re going to be in close quarters, so you might as well tell me what is bothering you.”
Sarah didn’t want to. She didn’t want to admit that she was attracted to him and that she couldn’t be with him because he was her boss. Sarah wasn’t sure if Harold felt the same way or not.
“It’s just you don’t have many clothes on.”
He chuckled and stood up in the water. “Is that what is bothering you?”
Sarah said that it was, and she tried to keep a neutral face, but it was pretty impossible to. It was clear that she was in way over her head. She wasn’t a virgin or anything, but she felt like what Harold was going to do to her was something that Sarah had never experienced before. She didn’t know how it was different, just that it was. Sarah wanted to find out more, needed it even, and that was what scared her the most. Sarah wasn’t used to needing anyone.
“No, it’s not bothering me.”
“Then, why won’t you look at me?”
Again, Sarah didn’t have an answer. She forced herself to look at him after a while and it wasn’t long before she was looking away again. He was just all out there, all man, and it was hard for her to pay attention to anything else. It was all just too much for Sarah. She could feel her cheeks burning and before too long, she was ready to get out of there. She was ready to do anything if he would stop looking at her the way that he was.
“Come on, Sarah. I felt the way you kissed me back. None of this should be a shock to you.”
Sarah started to agree that it wasn’t. She just knew that it was more than she could handle. He was more than she could handle, and when he started walking toward her, Sarah started to back off, afraid of what she was going to do if he kissed her again, or more. Sarah didn’t think she would be able to pull off stopping it. She wouldn’t want to.
“Where are you going?”
Sarah shrugged like she didn’t know what he was referring to. Sarah was sure that Harold was messing with her on purpose. It was like he was growing in front of her, more of his body coming out of the water with each step. It wasn’t until she was coming out of the water, too, that Sarah realized that Harold was leading her out of the water all together. She wasn’t sure what was going to happen, but the determination in his eyes and the way he was looking at her, told her that she wasn’t going to handle it well, even if she tried.
Then, he came toward her quickly, faster than before, and she wasn't able to get out of his way. That determined look was still ever-present, and Sarah almost fell backward trying to get away from him. He thought that was funny and grabbed her before she could fall.
His arms were around her and Sarah felt safer in that moment than she had in years. Why did he make her feel that way? How could she be nervous and relaxed all at the same time? It was like an oxymoron and Sarah didn't understand it. She also didn't understand what he was doing. Why was he paying her so much attention? Harold could have anybody he wanted. Yeah, he was a dickhead and everything, but girls seemed like it. Sarah knew several women that liked their men to basically be mean to them. A bad boy, but Sarah had never gotten that.
Harold was definitely the ultimate bad boy. He had it written across his face. It was even more clear to her when he pulled her hard against him. She was now in his arms once more and the idea of it scared her. What was going to happen, what she was going to allow to happen, scared her to death.
Then his lips were on her, and everything that she worried about was no longer a problem. The feelings instantly came over her and Sarah felt it all so strongly, that she felt like she was going to choke. His lips and tongue were pulling things out of her, making her need him even more. It was hard for Sarah to think straight. Maybe she didn't need to think at all. Sarah had never considered that before. For once, she didn't want to overthink everything. She just wanted to feel, and Harold felt so damn good.
The kiss deepened and he pulled her hard against his body. Sarah could feel the hard need resting between his legs, and it was rather large. It was so big that she had a whole other reason to be worried. Her body wasn't worried, though. Her body was readying itself for his entrance. Sarah couldn't believe how quickly it happened or how natural it felt. When his hands were on her and his lips and tongue, it all felt like that was exactly where he was supposed to be the whole time. Sarah was made to be in his arms.
Next thing she knew, they were getting out of the water, and he was laying her down on the sandy beach. Sarah was freaking out on the inside, just because she didn't know what was going to happen next. She had told herself over and over again that she wasn't going to do this. That she was going to be strong and stay away from her boss like that. Why was that so hard to do? Why was it the one man that she wanted, she couldn't have?
Sarah knew that she could have him. But she wasn't ready for everything else that came with it. All the drama, not to mention what would happen when they broke up. What would she do then? Could she really work with him on the same floor, see him all the time?
Sarah’s questions got in the way. She pushed him away. Her mind was overloaded with all of the shoulda, coulda, wouldas and she couldn't take it.
Harold was breathing hard and looking at her like she had lost her mind. “What are you doing?”
“Harold, we can't do this.”
“I think we can do this just fine. If you'll just come here, I will show you how well we can do this.”
Sarah shook her head and pushed him off of her a little bit more. It wasn't what she wanted to do, but it was what she needed to do.
“Come on, Sarah. I know that you want this, too.”
