So many times she’d repeated that to herself, almost to the point it was a mantra, being said over and over again. The problem with that was she didn't want it to be the true. Laurel probably would have given anything to make it not.
When she got back to his place, he was awake and seemed to be waiting up for her. He was sitting in the dark kitchen and she jumped when she saw him in the dark corner, sitting in the chair, drinking something dark out of a glass.
“God, you scared me. I didn't see you there.”
“You have been gone awhile.”
“Yeah, I wanted to get some pasta from the place down the road. Academy food is good, but sometimes you just have a craving, you know.”
“I know all about cravings. Do you want some more of that truth you were asking for earlier? The stuff that you were so worried about?”
He had a look about him, some kind of darkness in his eyes, and she didn't know what to think about it. It didn't bother her in the sense that she thought something was going to happen. There was no denying how she felt about him.
“What are you doing?”
“I was just asking you that same thing. I was worried about you. I thought that you had been attacked by Nancy again. I had to track her down and she swore that she had not seen you.”
Laurel was a bit surprised that he had gone through so much trouble. She told him what he could obviously see on his own. She was just fine. No worse for wear.
“Yes, I see that you're fine. But it could have just as easily been another outcome… I don't think you realize how dangerous it is for you.”
“Do you think I should leave?”
“Yes, but I don't want you to go.”
She was starting to see that it felt like it was all coming from the kiss. It had affected her as well, but he seemed to be taking it a little differently. The look of desire in his eyes was hard to look away from. He wanted her, right then and there, and if he had had the ability, she thought that he would have given it a try. For one reason or another, it turned around so easy. She had never fully wanted so badly to give in to her desires before.
“As long as you think that it is safe for me to be here, I will be here. I don't want to go.”
That seemed to get his attention, and he looked over at her with a lack of help or something like that in his eyes.
“Tell me that I'm not the only one that feels this?”
“I think you know what the truth is. I feel something for you, but it is the forbidden love, Nathan, that we cannot push forward with. You have a mate. You are going to be together soon, and not just a regular arrangement, it is a fated arrangement. I was made clear about what the difference was. I don't think I can go against fate. I don’t think I want to piss off the universe.”
He chuckled a little bitterly. “You don't know how many times I've thought that very same thing.”
“Did you come to a conclusion?”
“Yes, that I don't really give a damn about fate.”
He sat up and she didn't shrink back or anything, but she certainly gave him enough room to move around without running into her. He stopped every time she said no and she didn't think she had too many more nos in her. Not for him.
“I just don't think it's a good idea.”
“What are you worried about?”
“Your psycho fiancé is probably at the top of my list.”
“And if I got rid of her?”
“Don’t joke about that, Nathan. It’s not funny.”
“I wasn’t trying to be humorous. I mean it.”
“Is that even a possibility? Can you get rid of her?”
He agreed that it would be more complicated than he wanted to admit.
