It was a necessary question, but she did not relish the asking. Nor the response.
“I was not ashamed of you,” he denied. “But I was looking to protect Verity. My daughter is everything to me, and you know that.”
Of course she knew how much his daughter meant to him.
“It is because of Verity and how much I care for the both of you that I cannot possibly marry you,” she said brokenly. “Can you not see that?”
“I have fallen in love with you, Johanna,” he told her then. “Against my better judgment, it is true. I never thought my heart would find another woman I was capable of loving after Hattie died. But then I met you, and you proved otherwise. You brought me back to life again. In the past two days, you have brought more joy and laughter to Verity and me than we have had in the past five years. And I am a greedy, selfish man. I want that lightness, that happiness. I want you for myself.”
She searched his gaze, his countenance, for some sign he was jesting. That he was toying with her. Because surely he could not have just said he loved her.
Surely not.
Unless…
Could it be?
“Felix,” she said softly. “What can you be thinking? Did you not listen to any of the things I have said? You do not love me. You cannot love me.”
Although there was nothing she wanted more in this world than Felix’s love—and to become his wife—she knew she could not. His proposal, and indeed, even his confession, were rash and rushed. Quite unlike the man she had come to know.
“I can,” he assured her, “and I do. But I will be honest with you now, Johanna. There is another reason why I have asked you to marry me today, aside from the way I feel for you.”
Ah, there it was. Another reason. The true motive behind his abrupt proposal. She had not been wrong in her assessments, then.
She stiffened, preparing for whatever it was he had to say, certain it would not be anything she wanted to hear. “What reason could you possibly have for wanting to marry me, Felix?”
“To protect you.” His jaw tightened, a grim note she had not heard before underlying his words. “I received word this morning that the Special Investigative Unit of Scotland Yard intends to arrest you.”
Shock hit her, and she felt, for a beat, as if all the air had been stolen from her lungs. Her knees went weak as one of her greatest fears washed over her.
“Arrest me,” she repeated, her lips numb, coldness seeping into her marrow.
“Yes.” Felix paused, closing his eyes for a moment as if he, too, were struggling to compose himself. “It is not the sole reason why I wish to make you my duchess, Johanna. But it is the reason why I must do so imminently.”
“You must marry me imminently,” she said, struggling to comprehend everything he had just revealed to her. “Why?”
She had already been in shock from his unexpected proposal. She had begun their interview believing she would be telling him goodbye, believing these precious few minutes were the last she could ever allow herself to have with him.
But now, he had told her he loved her.
That he wanted to marry her.
Still, any incipient joy she experienced because of the first two was crushed beneath the gripping weight of the next, undeniable fact.
It was all because she was going to be arrested.
“Scotland Yard intends to arrest you soon,” he said. “Perhaps today. We have not much time to tarry. When I was gone this morning, I was securing the license we need to marry. Fortunately, I was able to procure it in time.”
The weakest part of her was tempted to accept Felix’s proposal. But neither her pride nor her heart would allow her to do so.
“How will marrying me keep me from being arrested?” she asked, still struggling to make sense of everything.
Fearing there was no possible way to make sense of it.
“I will not be able to testify against you,” he answered swiftly, “regarding the trunk and the explosives you smuggled into England. From what I understand, Scotland Yard intends to use one of your brother’s men as Queen’s Evidence against you.”
Before Johanna could offer a response, there was a commotion at the door to the study. She heard the familiar voice of the butler raised in alarm, mingling with other male voices.
