‘What you didn’t want, after making your confession, is for her to go off and murder your family.’
I blinked. Obviously, that hadn’t occurred to me.
‘Don’t you see, Cal?’ Aster squeezed my hand. ‘No matter what you told her, no matter how shocking it was, it doesn’t make a difference. You hadn’t considered the possibility of her killing your family when you told her the truth. You just wanted to be known. So how could what she did be your fault?’
I opened my mouth to argue, but the words abandoned me. Because Aster was right. I hadn’t had any inkling that telling Naomi my family were a pack of werewolves would send her into a murderous rage.
Maybe that was where I was to blame. I’d carried this guilt for so long. It had to come from somewhere.
‘I should have known what she was capable of.’
Aster shook his head gently. ‘Callum, how could you have imagined someone you thought was your friend would turn on you in such a terrible way?’
‘I knew she was mean.’ I sucked in a breath. I was panting for some reason. ‘I should have suspected what she would do.’
‘There’s a long way between someone being mean and someone being a murderer,’ Aster said over my rattling breaths. ‘I don’t care what your secret is. I don’t care how shocking or confusing it is. Nothing excuses what she did.’ Aster squeezed my hand. ‘Naomi took something you’d told her because you wanted to be known, and she twisted it into a reason to kill your family. You couldn’t have predicted she would do that, so you can’t be blamed. Cal, nothing of what happened was your fault.’
I tore my hand from Aster’s and pushed my fingersinto my hair. ‘That doesn’t make sense,’ I growled, hoping the claws sending pinpricks of pain into my scalp were hidden. ‘If I’m not to blame, then why do I feel so guilty?’
Aster’s hands landed on my forearms. He didn’t try to pull my hands away from my head, but dug his fingers into my straining muscles.
‘My guess is survivor’s guilt? All twisted up because you weren’t given a chance to talk any of this through.’ Aster squeezed my arms. ‘It’s much easier to blame yourself than accept that one innocent action set off something that you couldn’t have ever known was lurking. It’s easier to blame yourself than face the fact that you’re alive while a whole load of people you loved died so needlessly.’
I shuddered with each breath tearing over my lips, the claws piercing my scalp creating a counterpoint of pain for the howling storm inside of me.
For so long, I’d believed I was to blame for the death of my family. But what Aster said made sense.
I’d trusted the wrong person with my secret. My desire to be known wasn’t a bad thing. It wasn’t my fault I hadn’t spotted something evil inside of someone who was supposed to be my friend. I’d trusted her, and she’d betrayed me in the worst possible of ways.
The ache in my chest that had been present since my family died cracked, revealing a deep and unhealed wound. I’d been so fixated on my guilt before that I’d never looked behind it. I’d never had to face what I’d lost.
I’d made one tiny mistake—the consequences of which were out of my control—and that misstep had cost me almost my entire family.
I didn’t realise my claws had retracted. I didn’t realise I’ddropped my hands. I didn’t realise I’d fallen into the waiting grip of Aster’s arms.
I didn’t realise I was crying until I resurfaced from the fog of grief, sobbing into the chest of the man who’d shown me the truth. The man who’d stripped away my guilt and shame.
I wanted to thank him, but now the tears had come they wouldn’t stop. For a long time, I stayed cradled in Aster’s arms.
‘You’re okay, Cal,’ he whispered. ‘I’ve got you.’
I held him tighter as more tears came. I wanted him to have me. Always.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
ASTER
Ihonestly didn’t think it was possible for someone to break my heart without my dick being involved in proceedings in some way beforehand. It seemed fair that if a person was going to carve new cracks into my already patched ego, then I should have the fun of mutual orgasms first.
On the snow day, Callum broke my heart twice while my dick remained untouched and lonely.
I preferred to think about the second time. The noble time.
It was probably more accurate to say my heart brokeforhim. I was relieved that I was able to unpick the web of lies his guilt-addled mind had held him captive with for years. I’d clasped him in my arms for hours—my chest itching with the sheer amount of tears he cried—and something inside me shattered.
Callum didn’t need to tell me he hadn’t cried since the storm. It was evident in the harsh way he choked on each soul-aching sob.
This guy—the kindest and most selfless and hottest man on the planet—had believed for years that he’d caused the deaths of most of his family.
