‘She refused to talk to me after I told her.’ I’d been panicked in those few days after I’d revealed my true nature, sure she would reject me or tell the world. The reality was far worse. ‘While I was worried about her, she shared the secret with her family. Her parents were shocked, but the most they wanted to do was move off the island. It was her grandad, George, who helped her make a plan.’
I licked my lips. My grip on Aster’s hand must have been painful, but he didn’t ask me to loosen up.
‘They waited until we should have all been home. Everyone on the island knows everyone else’s business, so it wasn’t hard for them to figure out when to trap us. Naomi told my family there was some emergency, that they had to leave.’
‘But you and Bonnie got out?’ Aster interjected.
I shook my head. ‘We’d snuck off. Bonnie had seen how much I was struggling, and she said getting out would do me good. That the storm would blow away my mopiness.’
She’d wanted to teach me how to fully shift while the wind howled around us. I’d only managed a half shift before, and since.
‘We saw a boat out in the bay.’ And heard the screams as it filled with water. ‘But by the time we got down to the shore, it was too late.’
Naomi and her grandfather had done their research. They knew silver would create a barrier none of us could cross. No member of my family could escape the boat. Bonnie and I couldn’t get in.
I loosened my hold on Aster. He’d want to get away soon.He didn’t seem to have made the connection yet, but once I spelt out my guilt I wouldn’t stop him pulling his hand from mine.
‘I killed them, Aster. It’s my fault they died.’
Aster recoiled, but not in the way I’d expected. His face scrunched and he went through the same series of curious arm movements as when he’d discovered my lack of TV knowledge.
‘What? How? Your fault?’ He shook his head and placed a hand on his chest. The other tightened in mine, his fingers slotting into place.
I stared at our hands, sure this would be the last time he’d touch me once he fully understood. ‘It’s my fault my family were killed. I shouldn’t have told anyone our secret. Because I did, they all died.’
Aster’s hand gripped mine. He shook his head in exaggerated movements.
‘No, Callum. So much no.’ He looked up to the ceiling, silent words forming on his lips. ‘Your logic is messed up.’
I frowned. ‘Do you not understand what I’m saying?’
Aster hummed, pinching his lips together. ‘It’s you who doesn’t understand.’ He held up his hand. ‘Give me a second to lay this out for you. Then, if you still have some twisted belief that you’re a mass murderer, we’ll deal with it.’
‘I didn’t tell you this so that you could try to make me feel better.’
Aster was undeterred by the strength of my glare. ‘Callum, I am absolutely not going to say anything to make you feel better. It might have that effect, but it’s not the purpose.’ He sighed. ‘You’ve not talked about this for too long. It’s gotten all tangled up and warped.’
I wanted to pull my hand from his. It was impossible thathe’d know exactly how the barrier I kept up around memories of my family would feel. Like a maze of shifting thorns. I couldn’t think about them—not even the good times—because I didn’t deserve to. Bonnie wouldn’t let me talk about the storm for a reason.
‘Please, Cal. Will you listen to me?’ Aster held on to my hand.
I gave him a single nod. The sooner he said whatever nonsense was in his head, the sooner I could correct him and we would start along the path of him recognising I was a horrible person.
I’d wanted to tell him the truth because I needed it out of me. It had spent too long in the dark, unsaid. Even if it meant I lost the closeness we shared much earlier than I had to, it was worth it. I didn’t want to keep the poisonous words inside any more.
‘Right. Got to say this good. Perfect. Great start, Aster,’ he muttered. His face was set when he looked up at me, his eyes boring into mine. ‘Okay, so you told Naomi a family secret?’
I nodded.
‘And why did you tell her that secret?’
I frowned. I hadn’t thought about that in a long time. Revealing my family’s true nature had led to such awful consequences, I’d not considered why I’d done it in the first place.
‘I guess I wanted her to know.’ I’d always had a chronic need to be known, fully.
‘You wanted her to know,’ Aster repeated. ‘That’s a good reason, Callum.’
I stared at him, unsure where he was headed. His throat bobbed as he swallowed.
