“Their music is the reason you got back into art those years ago. You got out of your room when nobody else could get you to. And I’ve seen you together these past few weeks. You don’t fake your goofy smiles when he’s around.”
“Listen—”
“Stop. I’m not done. Seriously, he was good for you. This is what you do, Miles. You give up on yourself. You only have two modes. You’re either fighting with all you’ve got, or completely giving up. There’s no in-between. The moment you think everything’s lost, you stop functioning. You don’t take a step back and look at the bigger picture.”
Miles doesn’t say anything, just stares down at the water. He stops swinging his feet.
Sighing, Matthew continues. “If you got out of that bubble you live in, you’ll realize how much people actually care about you. Ifyou didn’t stop blocking the world out every time you’re down, this wouldn’t happen. You know how I know you’re blocking the world out again? Because you haven’t listened to their new song.”
“Yeah, because I don’t want to hear Theo singing a song that Calvin wrote,” he points out.
“He didn’t sing it, you moron. Calvin did.”
Huh?
Miles gapes. “Calvindid vocals!?”
He scoffs. “Take your phone out—right now. I’m not leaving until you listen to it.”
“Okay… okay, fine.” Miles fishes his phone out from his pocket. He pulls up his music app, and Cloverlily’s pinned to the front page as it’s been for years now. Miles presses play on their new song. The intro’s catchy, like it always is, but it also has a mellow flow to it.
Then Calvin sings.
Miles’s heart hammers in his chest. He’d recognize this voice anywhere, the steady cadence of it, and how beautifully intense it is.
Calvin has sung numerous times on their previous songs, but usually, in harmony with Theo. He doesn’t take the lead like this. Miles grins to himself, feeling an absurd amount of pride for Calvin, because it’s about fucking time.
And, the song… Miles bows his head down as he listens to it, and his thumb hovers the screen of his phone, stunned, because is he hearing this right? Calvin’s singing about a beautiful lake town and about someone he met who’s able to bring out the extraordinary with his paintings?
Matthew watches him carefully the entire time, not saying a word.
Miles’s heart beats so loudly in his chest. His face heats, and his breath catches in his throat. The song’s about him—or at least inspired by him? He doesn’t even know where to begin.
“Oh, god…” Miles groans. He messed this up, and he messed it upbad.
“Yeah,” Matthew says, and Miles puts his phone behind him so he doesn’t drop it into the lake. “You’re an idiot.”
He needs to rush back now. Miles needs to get in touch with Calvin, apologize, and tell him how big of an idiot he is. He can’t believe he said all those things to him. Shit. Miles’s stomach twists and wants to shout all his frustrations.
Miles pouts. “I kinda wish we had this talk hours ago.”
Throwing his head back, Matthew bursts out laughing. “I kinda wish we didn’t have to at all. It’s weird, talking to you about your love life.”
“Is that why you didn’t tell me about your engagement?”
“Yeah. I mean… We’re good. I swear we’re good, and we can be friends, and I’m happy you met Calvin. It’s still weird to talk about our love lives with each other, though.”
He nods. Miles gets it. “Thanks for chasing me out here. This was the weirdest of weird, but I really do appreciate it.”
“Yeah, sure.” Matthew gets up and dusts his pants. “I’m going to head back. Diego and Megan are waiting for me. Go pack and drive back to the city.”
He remembers Calvin telling him that it must be nice to have an ex-boyfriend who didn’t thrive on drama. Miles gets it now—this friendship he has with Matthew is nice. It’s all sorts of awkward,and he’s still blindly feeling around, searching for where the line’s drawn, but it’s nice. Miles is lucky to have him around. He stands up as well, putting his phone back in his pocket and grabbing his still very empty sketchbook. “I’m happy for you, too, by the way. I’m glad you have Diego.”
“So, so weird.” Matthew makes a face and shivers, as if someone put an ice cube down his back, and Miles laughs.
***
Mom’s fallen asleep on the couch when he gets home, the television playing an old rom-com and its sound a low buzz through the dim room. There’s an empty takeout container on the coffee table in front of her—Miles had wondered why he didn’t see her in the dining room.
