He shouldn’t have come here.
“Still refusing to let them see you get down sometimes, huh?” Matthew asks.
“Because I remember how I cooped myself up in my room when Dad passed,” he mumbles. “It’s bad enough Mom lost her husband without having to walk on eggshells around a grown adult like me. I don’t want her to worry about me, and she doesn’t need to know that I have really awful days sometimes.”
“You were both grieving… You’re both still grieving. She’s your mom. It’s her job to worry about you, and I think it would do you good to be more honest with her about where your mind’s at.”
“Heh, Calvin said the same thing.”
“Smart guy.”
Miles puts his hands on his knees and fidgets, swinging his legs back and forth above the water. Matthew sits there, calmly, his eyes set on the lake before them. He’s filled out a lot since they were younger, just like Diego. He wears his hair longer now and has gotten rid of those boyish cartoon shirts he collected back in high school.
Again, Miles wonders, when exactly did they all grow up?
“HowisCalvin?” prods Matthew.
Miles flinches. “He’s pissed at me.”
Matthew nods, as if he already knew this had everything to dowith Calvin. “Why?”
“Because I messed up,” he admits. “Did you know Theo Reid’s his ex?”
“Oh. Damn, really? I thought those were just fans making up stories.”
“Yeah, no, they really were together. For a long time.”
“So… this is about you being jealous? That’s unlike you.”
Miles chews on his lip. This is so weird, talking to Matthew of all people about his dating life. It’s so incredibly weird that it might be what he needs. “I’m not jealous about the fact that they dated, more like it bugs me that he’s his muse. That they’re each other’s muses. And that the entire world thinks the same thing.”
“What’s a muse?”
“I’ll tell you when I figure it out.”
“You’ve broken up? That’s—” Strangely, but in a good way, Matthew’s way too bothered about this. He frowns and scratches his neck, hesitating to get the words out. It’s certainly a sight. “He was good for you.”
“Doesn’t matter,” Miles says with a shrug. “I wasn’t good for him. The band’s good for him. It’s his family, his life. I’m not going to compete against that.”
“Why does he need to choose between you and the band?”
“He doesn’t, but… it’s really messy. He and Theo get into all these stupid fights when I’m around. I make it worse for the band, just being there. Also…”
“Also?”
“Calvin got pissed because I haven’t listened to their new release.”
Matthew turns to him, all wide-eyed and baffled. “You haven’t? Are you serious? They put it out hours ago.”
“No. See, I’m horrible. I can’t stand listening to Theo sing love songs, and how exactly are we going to work if I can’t even listen to his band?”
“Kind of ironic how you’ve been obsessed with them for years, then when you finally get a chance to meet them, you suddenly can’t listen to their songs.”
“Yes,” he says dryly. “Glad you see the irony.”
Wheezing, Matthew mumbles something about how this is so very typical of Miles. “You’re such an idiot.”
“Lovely talk.”
