Everything would be handled according to the rules.
A car pulled off to the side and rolled down the windows. A voice shouted good naturedly at Jame, and he laughed, jogging to close the distance.
I recognized that voice. It was Ben.
I left them to it and eased into traffic headed east. It was twenty-two miles to the casino and I wanted to get there before the early crowds arrived.
The dragon pig turned around and growled at the back seat.
“We don’t eat werewolves.” I glanced in my rearview mirror. “And we aren’t stopping for corn dogs.”
It growled again, and this time smoke rolled up from its nostrils.
I glanced in my rearview mirror again. “What are you so—?”
A unicorn popped up in the back seat. She shook her shiny mane, threw her hooves in the air, and shouted: “Ta-da!”
“Holy shit!”
I didn’t slam on the brakes because I wasn’t about to start a mile-long fender bender, but I did pull off to the side of the road, narrowly missing a mailbox and blocking a driveway.
Luckily the cars behind me were slow-rolling and rambled past, no collisions imminent.
“Really, Delaney,” the unicorn scolded. “Your driving skills need work. You almost ran us into that,” she stretched her neck so she could see out the front window, “wooden fish? Is that a mailbox?” She blew air through her lips, making a rude sound. “Tacky. Give it a little gas. Trust me, the homeowners will thank you for it.”
I inhaled, exhaled, considered my gun, but really, a gun wasn’t going to do much damage to a demon. Even a demon the size and shape of a Shetland pony. A pink Shetland pony. With a stupid sparkly diamond horn in the middle of her stupid glittery forehead.
“Xtelle, why are you in my Jeep?”
“Because you have no taste in cars? Would it kill you to invest in a nice Mercedes? There aren’t even seat warmers.” She wiggled her butt back and forth, then sighed. “So pedestrian. I expect better of you. For me.”
“Get out of my Jeep.”
“Wonderful idea! A unicorn strutting across the street. With all this slow traffic, too. Imagine the news it would make. I bet reporters would come here, so close to Ordinary, just to see if the pink unicorn is real. Wouldn’t that be so much fun, Delaney? All those eyes looking right here into your tiny corner of the world where gods are trying to vacation without being disturbed. And my goodness, just think of how the supernaturals in town would enjoy the scrutiny!”
Her eyes got big. “Ilovethis idea. Last time we talked you weresoself-righteous and for-the-good-of-my-people. But look at you now. A little streak of evil.” She wiped one shiny hoof under her eye. “I’m so proud.”
“Xtelle,” I warned.
“Busy! The world must see my brilliance! Call the press!” She grabbed the handle—not something a hooved creature should be able to do, but she was a demon. A very annoying one. If she could take the shape of a unicorn, she could make her hoof bendy enough to open doors.
Luckily, I controlled the locks in the car.
“You aren’t going out there to blow some kind of supernatural cover, and we both know it,” I said. “You also aren’t really a unicorn. If there’s a reason you’re here, spit it out. Because in exactly ten seconds, I’m going to tell my dragon to drop you into the nearest volcano.”
“Mount St. Helens?”
“The nearest volcano on the ocean floor.”
The dragon rumbled its approval. My sister Jean and I had found the dragon in a cave on the edge of the ocean. I figured it wouldn’t mind a little deep sea homicide.
The waterproofness of the demon, however, had yet to be proved.
“You are no fun. At all. Not even a little. I don’t like it.” She stuck her nose in the air and crossed her little pony arms across her little pony chest.
“Nine,” I said, “eight. Seven seconds until splashdown, Xtelle.”
She shook her head, just the tiniest of motions, like she was trying not to give in. Then she made a frustrated sound. “Fine. I want back into Ordinary.”
