I found it beautiful how a simple grass hill on a river could give a girl so many amazing dreams. I watched her eyes stare into the distance, and I could see she had a wonderous, dreaming mind. But she didn’t seem lost in a daydream, she was an action taker, a little fearless. Or maybe she was fearful and thrived on the feeling of adventure and change. I hadn’t quite figured her out completely yet, but I could tell she loved to chase the uncomfortable. You could hear it in her voice, her wonderous dreamy eyes, and her slight fake confident strut and stance that in this case, served her well. I loved the way she spoke about how the river opened into an ocean, inspiring dreams of a world beyond that was completely unknown. But to her, it felt like a calling, a knowing, a nudge from the universe into the direction she felt she needed to be. I really liked that quality in people, what was it… intuition maybe? Where they know, they are meant to do something, meant to be somewhere without the set plan in front of them, yet they can still run with the wind and embrace the journey ahead.
I don’t know if I did that. I knew I was insanely lucky to live the life I did, to be doing what I loved. But I don’t know if I gave myself many chances to stop and check in on my directions, to make sure that it was the exact path I was meant to go down, whatever my destiny was supposed to be. I guess at some point the world would come and shake me out of it, pull me onto the right path. That hadn’t happened yet, everything in my life was laid out and planned. Every gig, release, plane flight, appointment. My life was managed to the second. I loved being a creator, an artist, a singer, a producer, a musician. I was all the above and I knew it was exactly what I was born to do, I could see music and sound in a way others couldn’t, I always could from as young as I could remember. But I was also a product, a puppet on a string to my label, my booking agencies, my managers. I was their product that had to be sold, show up and always give the people what they wanted. Sometimes I just wanted to cut my strings.
‘Why haven’t you explored the other side yet?’ I asked.
‘I am. I mean it’s planned. I’m going,’ she said with confidence.
‘Where’s the first destination?’ I wanted to be immersed in the dreams she visualised behind her hazel eyes. I wanted to see all the stories and worlds she hid behind them.
‘I don’t know yet. All I know is I have a one-way ticket booked on that ship in a month,’ she said, nodding towards the large ship docked on the other side of the river. ‘The rest I’m just going to figure out. Travel around and find my next favourite place I guess.’
She was so lit up by the unknown adventure in front of her. She was a go-getter, sure of herself. It took me back and made me ponder my own dreams. Her sense of adventure, her drive, the passion that she had for the unknown, ignited something in me.
I grabbed her knee and spun her around so that she was sitting cross-legged in front of me. She looked beautiful, so innocent and pure under the moonlight. But I could tell how incredibly strong she was. Although she hadn’t travelled, she had seen life.
Emma exuded something I hadn’t seen before, something that made her different, something I craved. I don’t know if I had ever felt this way before. I don’t know if I had ever experienced a moment just like this one. A moment where I wasn’t thinking about the next move I was going to make or the next sound, beat. I hadn’t experienced a moment of such pure presence; my mind wasn’t wandering off into an insane creative daydream of nothingness, in a zone of creativity or angst of the future. I was just here, with her. It was a moment of happiness that I don’t know if I had experienced in a very long time, if ever, without being attached to anything. Or, maybe it was… maybe I had attached it to her.
I hardly knew who she was. But everything inside my body wanted to hold her, wanted to grab her and consummate this moment with her, make sure that she was real. Turn this into real memory.
‘You’re so… joyful… intriguing… different… I like it,’ I said. I always found it hard to give out compliments and I don’t think she was very great at accepting them as her eyes shied away and she didn’t speak. I quickly changed the conversation to see her spark light her back up.
‘If you were to paint something right now, what would it be?’ I noticed her eyes flicker again as she became lost in her own thoughts. She came across so powerful and sure of her path. Yet when she was truly questioned, she became vulnerable. What was she hiding? What was holding her back? I jumped up to my feet and held out my hand to grab hers. She stood up facing me, standing close. Her long brown hair had draped over her left eye. I tucked her hair behind her ear, exposing her beautiful face, she gleamed underneath the moonlight. Her eyes still lost within her own thoughts, unable to answer my question. It’s okay, she didn’t have to answer it. I knew exactly what it was like, to be pulled by creativity, energy, a feeling, yet lost within self-doubt. She looked sexy with her boss woman confidence, fucking beautiful, bathing in her own essence of self-discovery — a little lost, but so fucking driven.
I pulled her in close to me, as her eyes came back into the present to meet with mine. I wrapped my arms around her waist holding her at the top of her skirt. We stood in silence for a moment. My lips pushed lightly against hers. Her hazel eyes closed.
Her arms dropped from around me, her fingers danced around my hips moving to undo the top button of my pants. My hands moved quickly up, pulling her top over her head. Blood pulsed through my pants. I know she should feel it against her body. I stood there looking at her while completely undressing. I had never been naked in public before, especially an almost stranger. Despite what people thought of me, fuck, what even Emma might have thought of me.
I stood completely naked. We didn’t speak. I just watched her eyes brush over my nakedness before I pulled her in closer again, tasting her tongue. Holding onto her hips firmly. I pulled back from her and spun her around in my hold, so her ass was pressed up to my crouch, it was the perfect curve pressing into me. My hands were still pressed into the front of her hips and my lips tasted the back of her neck as we both stood there completely naked, being watched by the moon.
‘Are you sure?’ I whispered in her ear. It all happened so quickly.
‘Yes, yea I want this… I want you, under the moon,’ she said.
Her hips still rocked, and she started to sigh as our breath sped up in sync. My hands wrapped around her tightly, holding her close to me as I gently pushed myself softly inside of her. She screamed with pleasure. She was so fucking loud. I loved it. She felt incredible, this moment was insane. It was a feeling of pure freedom, and pleasure all at once. She surrendered to all of it. I held myself back to hear her scream out in ecstasy until I couldn’t take any more. I pulled myself out of her and joined her. I hugged her, held her, and took a step back to catch my breath.
I could hear my phone ringing from my jeans, I knelled down and scrummaged through my jean pockets, to find Torey ringing. Fuck.
‘Hey, mate,’ I said.
‘Are you close, man, it’s almost time.’ Torey sounded slightly stressed through the phone.
‘Yeah, mate, so sorry. I’m just a couple of minutes away.’ I hung up the phone and looked at Emma, she was an absolute goddess, glowing and half-dressed under the moonlight.
I had ten minutes to get back to the club at a respectful time before my set started. I scrummaged around the grass to help Emma with her clothes, picking up her black top I helped put it on and wrapped my arms around her again, kissing her soft lips.
‘You should really get dressed and go,’ she said, as I pulled away from our kiss, holding her gorgeous face
‘You’re not going to join me?’
Emma declined my invitation to come back to the club with me. I understood. A room full of drunken chaos was probably not how she wanted to end the night, after the last hour we had shared. I wanted her there, I wanted her to watch my set, I wasn’t ready to leave this night, and her alone just yet. I wish I could have laid with her all night, underneath the stars, but once again… work beckoned.
‘Are you sure?’ I double-checked her answer, half hoping that she would change her mind.
‘Yeah, I’m good, you should really run back though. You haven’t got much time,’ she said, her voice relaxed but happy, she smiled back at me.
‘I can’t leave you here, at least let me wait till your car comes,’ I said. We both started to dress, Emma picked up her phone, out of the front pocket of her skirt, ordering an Uber.
‘No, I’ll be fine. One is already coming, it’s only three minutes away.’ She held out her phone to show me the ride that was on her way.
