“I’ve never needed anything more,” I whispered and tried to wiggle closer to him— as if I could.
The sound of the elevator ding sliced through the moment like a knife.
Ivan jerked back as if he’d been burned—hands leaving my waist so abruptly that cold rushed in where heat had been. His chest rose and fell hard, shoulders tense, and jaw clenched in a way that made the muscle tick.
I stayed pressed against the counter, breath trembling out of me, my body still humming with everything he’d almost done. Everything I’d begged him to do.
He wouldn’t look at me at first.
He dragged a hand down his face, exhaling slowly through his nose like he was trying to force the animal back into its cage.
Footsteps echoed across the foyer, and Don’s voice filtered through the silence. “Jane?—”
He stopped dead when he saw us. Ivan was brooding, still entirely too close to me, and I was sweaty, breathless, and in micro gym shorts.
Don’s brows shot up, but he schooled his expression almost immediately. “Ah. Well.” He cleared his throat. “Um.”
“Jane?” I managed to squeak.
“Right,” he cleared his throat again. He knew exactly what he’d interrupted. “She wants to try out for the cheer team this evening.” He scratched the side of his neck before rubbing the same hand down his face. “She’s taking a shower, and then I’m going to bring her.”
“That’s wonderful!” I didn’t even know she liked cheeror that she wanted to do that; I was so wrapped up in my own world.
Don chuckled nervously. “I’ll just, uh, wait in the car then and pretend I didn’t see anything.”
“Nothing happened,” Ivan said, his voice ragged enough to give him away instantly.
Don’s gaze flicked between us again, landing on my swollen lips and my still-shaking hands gripping the counter.
“Sure,” Don said slowly. “Absolutelynothing.”
Ivan shot him a look that could’ve killed a grown man. Don lifted both hands in surrender and backed away. “Right. I’m gone. Enjoy… doing absolutely nothing.”
The elevator dinged again as he left, and the sound was almost mocking.
Silence flooded the apartment.
Ivan still stood a few feet away, chest heaving and hands clenched at his sides. He looked ruined and wild. Like he was one breath away from coming back to me or one breath away from locking himself away.
“I need a shower,” he raked his fingers through his hair and nodded to himself. “Yes, a shower would be good.”
I smiled mischievously. “I think a shower sounds like a great idea.”
A tortured gaze met mine. “I meant alone.”
My chest deflated but only slightly. My grin curled into a smirk. “That’s okay, I have more than enoughtoysto keep me company.”
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Poppy
I hadn’t been lying either.I had a whole arsenal at my disposal. I knew how to take care of myself, and I enjoyed doing so. I knew exactly what I liked and what I didn’t. When I yanked my side table drawer, I looked for the one that was the closest to Ivan and then bit my lip. They were all similar to him. When I’d bought them, I hadn’t thought about it seriously. But now looking in my drawer, I could see that I was chasing the high of that night.
That was fine by me.
I turned one of the toys over in my hand, thumb brushing the smooth silicone. Heat crawled up my neck as memories of that night in the lodge rushed through me. I wasn’t chasing an orgasm.
I was chasinghim.
